Dr. Marvin Marshall's Monthly Newsletter

In This Issue:

  1. Quote of the Month
  2. Reducing Stress
  3. Promoting Responsibility
  4. Increasing Effectiveness
  5. Improving Relationships
  6. Promoting Learning
  7. Parenting Without Stress
  8. Discipline without Stress (DWS)
  9. What People Say

First Things First...BIG NEWS!

The print edition of “LIVE WITHOUT STRESS® How to Enjoy the Journey” is now at the printers.

To recapture the printing costs, a 20% discount is available for a limited period of time: until the books are delivered to my distributor.

People who submit an advance order for the $17.95, 270-page book that shows how to reduce stress in EVERY phase of life will receive:

Free shipping of the book
✔ Personally signed autographed copy
✔ My printed international publication: “Fostering Social Responsibility”
✔ My internationally published article: “Using a Discipline System to Promote Learning” that shares some fascinating theories

All of this for just

Receive this stress management book containing simple procedures to reduce your stress in any situation!

Pre-Order Now

1. Quote of the Month

Learn about W. Edwards Deming

2. Reducing Stress

Attempts to control often lead to counterwill—the natural human tendency to resist being controlled. This leads to power struggles, which then lead to more resistance, reluctance, resentment, and even rebellion. Rebellion is NOT an inevitable function of development.

If you are a teacher, parent or guardian of a young child or adolescent, then you know dealing with the young can be stressful. The good news is that it doesn’t have to be! Watch the short video.

Latest Video: "Reduce Power Struggles"

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3. Promoting Responsibility

When raising and disciplining children, many teachers and parents rely on rules. They devise rules for homework, rules for chores, rules for behavior, and so on.

In practice, however, the use of the term “rules” is often counterproductive. Rules are used to control—not inspire. Although essential in games, rules are counterproductive in relationships.

Think of it this way: If a rule is broken, a mindset of enforcement is naturally created. The adult’s thinking goes something like, “If I don’t do something about this, it will occur again and I’ll lose my authority.” The situation between the adult and child immediately becomes adversarial.

The use of the term “rules” prompts the adult to assume the role of a cop—a position of enforcement—rather than a more encouraging stance similar to that of a mentor. As a mentor, you are more inclined to view misbehavior as an opportunity to promote appropriate behavior in a positive manner.

In contrast to “rules,” the term “responsibilities” empowers and elevates. They are naturally stated in positive terms, whereas rules are often stated in negative terms. When communications are in positive terms, there is a natural tendency for you to help rather than to punish.

So, rather than using the term “rules,” consider using a term that describes what you want to encourage. If your intention is to promote responsible behaviors, use the term “responsibilities.” Notice in the following examples how the customary rules are de-motivating while those associated responsibilities are empowering.

If you say to a child, “You are always late,” the child is not empowered to change. However, by saying to the child, “You have such great habits in many areas, and being on time is something you can improve,” you have reminded the youngster of successes upon which to build. You have encouraged the child to strive because of the positive picture you have created.

4. Increasing Effectiveness

The priest was called to the hospital to administer the Last Rites to a patient on his deathbed.

Shortly after receiving them the patient died.

The priest was notified that there was a mix-up of communications and that he had given the Last Rites to the wrong patient.

The priest then ministered them to the originally intended patient, who also passed on shortly thereafter.

Although we may find this true story tragic and at the same time somewhat humorous, it points out the effect our brain (thinking/ beliefs) has on the body.

Putting negative thoughts in you head can have dire consequences.

5. Improving Relationships

The Gallop Poll has been monitoring people’s opinions after presidential elections since the 1960’s. Three characteristics of the candidates are polled: loyalty to party, issues, and likability. Of the three characteristics, the one that is most important in determining the outcome of the election is the candidate’s “likability factor.”

We all want to be liked—which leads to a major mistake of many new teachers...

Click to read the entire article...

6. Promoting Learning

Anyone who influences others relies on some kind of motivation—either internal or external.

External sources often focus on obedience, but obedience does not create desire or commitment. In contrast to using external approaches, the Without Stress approach is so successful because it is totally noncoercive—yet not permissive—and prompts desire and commitment.

See how Tom Sawyer inspired others to whitewash Aunt Polly’s front fence. Tom was a better psychologist than any behaviorist, who believe that all behaviors are acquired through conditioning. They rely on external sources to actuate change. They completely neglect internal motivation.

Click to read Tom's secret...

7. Parenting Without Stress

One of my comments in my teaching and parenting books has to do with imposing punishments unnecessarily. Here is an example from Ron Chernow’s book “Titan” about John D Rockefeller. (Chernow is also the author of “Alexander Hamilton,” the source of the current Broadway production.)

John D. Rockefeller, Junior was taken in by a scam shortly after he joined his father’s business. From the book:

"One can only guess Junior’s emotional turmoil when he broke this astonishing news to his father, a harrowing meeting that was forever seared into his memory. ‘Never shall I forget my shame and humiliation as I went up to report the affair to Father. I hadn't the money to meet the loss; there was nothing else to do.’

“Senior listened quietly and conducted a calm but thorough inquiry, investigating every detail of the transaction—all without a syllable of reproach. At the end, he simply said ‘All right, I'll take care of it, John.’

“Junior waited for some criticism, some outburst, some paternal homily about future behavior. But nothing further was said. It was a vintage Rockefeller performance: The true lesson lay in what he did not say and what he did not do.

“Rockefeller sensed his insecure son had castigated himself so unmercifully that bitter reproaches were superfluous.

By showing generosity, he enlisted his son’s loyalty forever” (Vintage eBook, pp1452-1453)

8. Discipline Without Stress (DWS)

Spring Sale:
MY SCHOOL IN-HOUSE STAFF DEVELOPMENT BUNDLE is being discontinued and offered to you at a FIRE SALE PRICE.

There are only 8 DVDs packages left in stock and will not be reproduced. The remaining ones are available at the fire sale investment of $499 rather than $995.

See what you get...

9. What People Say

"Thank you for your videos! I really enjoy watching and listening to your expertise! So appreciative of all of your work! We are currently working with your Parenting Without Stress model. I know it will make great changes in our lives. Thank you"

- Amy Jarozynski
(from a post on my YouTube channel)


The Trilogy Is Now Complete!

LIVE Without Stress has joined DISCIPLINE Without Stress, and PARENTING Without Stress.

The eBook, “LIVE WITHOUT STRESS: How to Enjoy the Journey,” is now available on Amazon’s Kindle eBook store for only $9.99.

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My Other Books Available on Amazon...

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Questions, Thoughts, or Comments?

Don't be shy, I'd love to hear from you! Feel free to contact me directly at marv@marvinmarshall.com

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Dr. Marvin Marshall

P.O. Box 2227
Los Alamitos, CA 90720

Phone: 1.714.220.1882
Website: WithoutStress.com