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One of my comments in my teaching and parenting books has to do with imposing punishments unnecessarily. Here is an example from Ron Chernow’s book “Titan” about John D Rockefeller. (Chernow is also the author of “Alexander Hamilton,” the source of the current Broadway production.)
John D. Rockefeller, Junior was taken in by a scam shortly after he joined his father’s business. From the book:
"One can only guess Junior’s emotional turmoil when he broke this astonishing news to his father, a harrowing meeting that was forever seared into his memory. ‘Never shall I forget my shame and humiliation as I went up to report the affair to Father. I hadn't the money to meet the loss; there was nothing else to do.’
“Senior listened quietly and conducted a calm but thorough inquiry, investigating every detail of the transaction—all without a syllable of reproach. At the end, he simply said ‘All right, I'll take care of it, John.’
“Junior waited for some criticism, some outburst, some paternal homily about future behavior. But nothing further was said. It was a vintage Rockefeller performance: The true lesson lay in what he did not say and what he did not do.
“Rockefeller sensed his insecure son had castigated himself so unmercifully that bitter reproaches were superfluous.
By showing generosity, he enlisted his son’s loyalty forever” (Vintage eBook, pp1452-1453)
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