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So, what's the hold up? Why isn't everyone trying this out? Well, for a few reasons:
1. Homophobia (internalized or not)
2. Fear of embarrassment
3. Fear of making a "mess"
4. Fear of pain
5. General emotional discomfort with the vulnerability aspect
On my most recent podcast episode (episode 20), I give you some tips and tricks to help with #2-#4, so go check it out!
Internalized homophobia is not a quick process to overcome. Most of my readers are 35+ years old. So over three decades of shitty messaging won't go away in a day. It takes a conscious effort to challenge beliefs. Same with the vulnerability piece - not an overnight process.
A quick breakdown of anal tips:
1. Foreplay. Being turned on/aroused will help set the stage for being more receptive to "taboo" acts (acts that are new to you), both mentally and physically.
2. Lube. Period. Non-negotiable. Just use it.
3. Baby steps. No one wants any surprises when it comes to anal. Start by simply rubbing around the anus on the outside with lube. Communicate throughout the progression to one finger - maybe only up to one knuckle to start! Ask if they are ok with more, and proceed from there. Move up to toys or dilators (if you want), then move to the penis/dildo. Did I mention lube?
4. Prepare. Look, if you pick your nose, you'll get boogers on your finger. If something goes in your butt, there is a chance you may see poop. Such is life. However, there are steps to take to try to decrease the chance of that happening. Being mindful of what you eat that day, drinking lots of water, waiting until AFTER you have a bowel movement, and using an anal douche bulb * are all things to think about. Use regular water to flush out the rectum. You do NOT need to do a full enema to clean out your intestines!
It's entirely up to you whether you decide to explore anal play or not (obviously). However, if you DO decide to try it, I hope you feel more confident in the process now.
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