DrJoyCoaching Newsletter, vol. 16
Happy Chinese New Year! I'm excited that it's the year of the WATER TIGER, the symbol of bravery, wisdom and strength.
Turning a big number this year has made me reflect on what values are important to me. Better late than never, right?
So here are some of my most important ones:
Honesty- Always a value for me. Don't lie to me and I won't lie to you.
Fairness- A value that I fully realized during the early years of my career. As low WOMAN on the totem pole in my group practice, I got all the patients that came in unscheduled, who wanted a female physician, regardless of which pasty old white male physician was sitting in his office, schedule empty, reading the newspaper. (Oh, and he made more money than I did because of his seniority.) I did not stay long...
Control- As a self-proclaimed control freak, yes, this is a biggie. I kept track of my kids' schedules, my husband's travel schedule, my own schedule, and coordinated all the appointments, practices, and games, while juggling my own patients' deliveries at all hours of the day and night. I used to half-jokingly tell my patients they were better off delivering in the middle of the night, because I didn't have any other commitments. But I'm softening a little, because I realized that trying (and failing) to control everything is just too draining. And frustrating. And causes pain, to myself, and those around me.
Flexibility- The flipside of control. And this has been curated very recently! I don't take myself so seriously any more. If things go wrong, I am more flexible (at least I am trying). It's really not worth getting worked up all the time over things that don't go quite as planned.
Quality- This is a tricky one. Because sometimes striving for quality can be seen as striving for perfection. (My mother once called a math teacher of mine when I got 99% on a test, when in reality I had gotten 100%. He had written across the top "because no one is perfect". So, you see where I got this!) And as a recovering perfectionist, I can truly say, that striving for perfection is a direct road to anxiety, procrastination, and overwhelm. I appreciate quality. But nothing has to be perfect.
Integrity- If anything, this has gotten stronger over the years. I appreciate those with integrity and try to uphold my own in the best way I can.
Self-Care- Definitely at its strongest now. Partly this has to do with loving myself and my body, and this has taken all of these 60 years to get to this point.
So before we get too far into the year, I challenge you to sit down and write out your values. It can be very enlightening when considering a career change, or going through a life transition, especially if you have hard choices.
And, as always, if you want some help with that, please reach out!
Be well, and don't forget to breathe...
P. S. Please feel free to check out my website www.DrJoyCoaching.net, and follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram (@DrJoyCoaching). Also, if you know another woman physician you think would benefit from coaching, please forward this email to her!