I know it's only November, but with special edition items that take time to engrave, I would be an imbecile if I didn't release this, the ultimate holiday gift for the truly committed Asylum denizen, right now.
My new Premium Engraved Plague Rat Logo Necklace (with FREE SHIPPING no less) may well be the most luxe item I've ever offered at the Emporium. With a core of Premium 316L Stainless Steel and the option (for no extra cost) of an outer shell of 18k gold, our iconic rat logo is precision etched onto the medallion, not printed, and the thickness and quality of the piece is an absolute dream.
Now, I don't mean to be crass, but I frankly suck at selling things. I hate it. I want everybody to have everything they want always, I'm not comfortable accepting payment for anything, and if I had the means, I would gladly give away everything I ever made to anyone who wants it for nothing, from t-shirts to theatre tickets (this isn't a backhanded compliment to myself by the way, because it isn't actually an attribute but a downfall, and if I saw this attitude in you, for example, I would sharply reprimand you and tell you that what you do has spectacular value and that you should be proud and that anyone who doesn't want to buy whatever it is you're working like holy hell to do for a living doesn't have to and you deserve every penny you can scratch up in this filthy world and so on and so on, but I'm very simply a shyte salesperson and that's the end of it).
But! I'm not going to be shy about this one...I love this piece...it goes straight to my Asylum heart and plates it with gold and says, yes, you've transformed from victim to victorious and not only owned it all but bloody gilded it, and now you go forth and represent your gloriously mad self like a damned queen.
So, as ever I proclaim, the best gifts don't cost a dime, and no one, NO ONE needs to spend one to be a true Asylum Inmate and have my heart (shyte salesperson, see?).
IF you are perchance looking for the ultimate gift this holiday season for the Plague Rat in your life (and you may certainly count yourself, my dear), let us just say that I've got you covered.