I’m sexy and I know it

by Millenia Rodrigues

Heyy cuties! I’m Millenia! Let me tell you a bit about myself. I am named after my birthday (01.01.01), I love singing, I have a pet turtle and I am fat. I have always been a fat child, a fat teen and now, a fat adult. Oh, I almost forgot to mention, I also have a boyfriend. I’ve been with him for almost 4 years now. How we got together is a cute story, but that’s for another time. But all I can say is that I love being with him, and we enjoy doing nothing and laughing at cringey reels together. It’s almost a perfect relationship — where the only imperfection in my eyes is my weight.

When we first got together, I didn’t really think much of my weight. I mean sure, I knew I was heavier than him, so what? That doesn’t change anything as long as I love him and he loves me, right? Nope, lol. It’s not that simple. So what complicated it? An unsolicited comment, saying I should lose weight now that I have a tall, fair boyfriend because right now, he seems too good for me. Look, I’ve had my fair share of comments about how I need to ‘lose weight to look pretty’ for a while now, so it didn’t bother me initially. So being the sassy queen that I am, I threw the sass back at her and let her know that we do in fact look very good together, thank you very much.

But over time, the comment did manage to creep its way into my relationship.

I get insecure and often get thoughts like, “what if he realises that I’m not great, and then leaves?” I never believe him when he tells me I look beautiful, because the people around me tell me otherwise. When your family and acquaintances comment constantly on your body and looks, it’s difficult to believe that one person who says you’re perfect. Lastly, there are times when I feel extremely unattractive and unwanted even if he tells me that he does. Pop culture barely showing any fat people in romantic relationships doesn’t help it either.

What has helped me not self-sabotage this relationship is accepting that self-love is a journey which will have bad days. When those bad days inevitably come, I tell him how I’m feeling and what I need him to do. Lastly, I try not to be hard on myself, because if I don’t have nice things to say about myself, I’ll try not to be mean either, because you are ultimately what you say you are.

So to the fat person in the relationship, you are absolutely wanted and you are stunning, beautiful, hot and sexy.

To the people in a relationship with a fat person, listen to them when they communicate, support them and give them an extra dose (hehe pun intended) of love!

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