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"Let gratitude be the pillow upon which you kneel to say your nightly prayer." â€“ Dr. Maya Angelou
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5 quick things –
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Hi, gorgeous! 

I believe that we can be grateful for who we are and what we have, while also acknowledging (and working to correct) the harms that we and our ancestors might have caused—or conversely, might have been done to our ancestors.

This week is Thanksgiving in the United States, which many of us were taught marks some kind of friendly meal that Native Americans and European colonialists had ... as if the lesson is that it is nice to share a meal, but it is also okay to ignore the ugly truth that most of us white Americans are direct descendants of colonialists who caused a genocide of and stole land from the indigenous peoples.

It's super easy to focus on the warm fuzzy parts, and I love them, too. But I think many of us are strong enough to hold both the painful truths and the beauty in our hearts. I don't have any answers, but I do know that a good start is to allow the whole truth to exist in the open. I struggle deeply with my own history, and also am deeply grateful for what I have. May I continue to work towards alchemizing pain, and may you allow your entire self to be known and loved.

    Thanks for reading that. :) Here are your 5 things this week. âŹ¬
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    TO TALK ABOUT
    1. 🗣️on conversations

    My latest post on Thrive Global is about a simple technique that I like to use to facilitate deeper, more meaningful conversations. It's something I use a lot–especially with kids. 

    At our dinner table yesterday, monkey (aka my 19-year-old daughter Nika) brought out these "actually curious" cards and we went around the table and answered some awesome questions, such as: 

    "Chose one: time travel or eternal youth. Why?"

    "What is guaranteed to bring you happiness?"

    Introducing these questions into conversation with others is so fun! Typically everyone disagrees and it can be interesting to learn about why people chose the things they do.
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    NOW WATCHING
    2. lineup + dollface

    I'm semi-obsessed with the "Lineup" YouTube series from The Cut. The broad strokes: strangers are asked to guess one thing about other strangers based on appearances and small talk. It could veer into judgment, but instead it lands solidly in a place where good people have their minds expanded and it's super fun (and mind-blowing!) to watch! Some of my faves:

    Also, have you seen the new Hulu show, Dollface? I don't normally like "weird for the sake of weird" shows, but this one is pretty clever: a young woman has let her female friendships fade away during her time coupled up, and when she becomes single again, she has to re-learn why those relationships were so important and how to care for them. It's cute, and also has a talking cat that drives a bus.
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    NOW READING
    3. sassiness as protest, stuttering, keeping score

    Some things to think about: 

    • The Quiet Protests of Sassy Mom Merch (The New Yorker)
    • How Joe Biden's lifelong struggle with a stutter might (or might not) affect his verbal blunders (The Atlantic)
    • Why the common relationship advice to stop keeping score in your relationship might be sexist (The Lily)
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    PRACTICE TIPS
    4. videos

    My free guided video for you this week is a 20-minute gratitude meditation practice. 

    I also made you a video of that "hands on ears centering practice" that I mentioned last week. Somehow it quickly became my most watched video. The internet is unpredictable!
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    DEEP THOUGHTS
    5. winding down and gearing up

    It's the end of the decade, a time for much reflection, introspection, and planning. I'm considering some potential new mantras/ themes for the next ten years: 

    • Do no harm, but take no shit.
    • Do some things wrong and some things right. Repeat the things I do right. (s/o to Fred Rogers.)
    • Love myself a tiny bit more every day.
    • Do less, be more.

    How about you? Thoughts about how you want to mark the closing of the decade or the opening of the new one?

    I am grateful for you for reading this newsletter, and to so many of you for letting me know what resonates. I am grateful that I am me. And I am grateful that you are you! See you next week, friend.
    Love,

    MEANWHILE, ON SOCIAL MEDIA . . . 
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    Liza Kindred


    This issue of your newsletter was written in Miami Beach, Florida, on the unceded land of the Seminole and Tequesta Native American tribes. (via NativeLand)

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