I decided to pursue a second career as a psychotherapist over a decade into my professional life. Because I didn’t have the courage to abandon my safety net, I kept my full-time job at American Express when I started a part-time Master of Social Work (MSW) degree in 2005. Unfortunately, a little more than a year later, I was laid off. (In the spirit of full transparency, this was my second layoff by American Express.)

My brother had been trying to recruit me as a general manager of his telecom start-up for years. I was intrigued by the idea, but the timing hadn’t been right. Being out of a job gave me the chance accept his offer, but there was a cost: I would have to drop out of my master’s program. Four years would pass before I was able to return.

All-in, it took me six years to finish my degree, but I wasn’t really finished because I wanted to be a therapist in private practice. According to New York State’s licensing board, that would require 2,000 hours of work experience in an approved setting.

It would take another five years for me to complete those hours by working evenings, earning less than $30 per patient.

And while I was getting my MSW and working towards my hours, I was in the same job at American Express. 

Most of my colleagues in similar roles cycled out in a few years—sometimes laterally but often for promotional opportunities—while I stayed in place for EIGHT years.

I’m flattered when someone tells me they’re inspired by my story, but I don’t imagine I was inspiring anyone when I was filing unemployment claims between jobs, or when I sat in the same corporate role without advancement for eight, straight years. But I want you to know about the layoffs, the long nights, and the career stagnation because they’re part of what got me where I am now. 

No one gets to experience the thrill of victory without a taste of the agony of defeat. The important thing is not letting the defeats get the best of you.

There is an oft-repeated phrase from my coaching program: Slow down to speed up. 

If you’re unwilling to slow down, or tolerate a few bruises to your ego and dark nights of the soul, then you likely won’t get to fulfill your truest desires.