DIVORCING WELL

Change your mindset, change everything: How a mother of six rebuilt her life after divorce

Building the life of your dreams after divorce is possible, but you may need to adjust your mindset to realize it, says Divorce Coach Hasana Elamin, who was Leanne's recent guest on the Divorcing Well podcast.

Hasana knows what she’s talking about: Two years ago, she and her husband of 21 years — with whom she shares six children — got divorced.

Living in a foreign country, Saudi Arabia, and paralyzed with fear about the future, she started to work on changing her mindset.

“I saw that my patterns of thinking led me to choose a person with narcissistic tendencies as a spouse. I knew if I wanted to create something different, I had to change the way I think,” she says.

Hasana shares how she found the courage to leave a difficult marriage, with no income or job, and created a new life for herself and her children.

Her story is very inspiring and you won’t want to miss this episode.

Listen on Apple or Spotify.

Divorce is an opportunity to let go of what no longer serves you and embrace what does

There’s no question that divorce is one of the most difficult ordeals a person can go through, but, like many things, it also has its silver linings.

After the dust settles, it can be easier to appreciate marital successes — even if they were few and far between — and acquire lessons learned for the next time around.

Divorce can also create new opportunities to connect with people who really get you, shed resentment and feel better about yourself, writes Lauren Cahn in a recent column for Reader’s Digest.

“Together my husband and I had managed to go from newbie adults with zero assets to owning a beautiful home in the country that we were able to afford, among other reasons, because we had invested wisely and made good decisions along the way. While the divorce was ongoing, I lost sight of that."

While it’s by no means all sunshine and lollipops, Cahn says divorce can provide an opportunity to release things that no longer make you happy — and make space for new things (and people) that do.

Here’s how to protect your kids’ mental health when you're going through a divorce

Separation or divorce can be hard for kids, but there are ways to protect their mental health as your family goes through it.

Former spouses’ ability to co-parent will have the greatest influence on how their children adjust to their new family structure, writes Rachel Sharman in The Conversation.

“Studies suggest the relationship between the parents post-separation strongly influences the development of childhood problems. With hostile, disengaged or unconstructive conflict behaviours particularly associated with maladaptive childhood behaviours,” she says.

Sharman recommends parents share the news about the split with their children together — and strive to amicably co-parent throughout the ordeal and beyond.

Children also benefit from knowing what to expect, including where they’ll live and how their lives might change, she says. They should be encouraged to talk about their feelings, and ask questions, as they feel the need.