Thank you for being here for the very first email of Moon Rites on this new moon.
My blog is still new at the moment which means you must be here because you’re taking a leap of faith that Disorient will grow into something beautiful. I’m grateful for your presence and support.
Back in June when I first had the idea to create my blog, I had no idea how I would fit this project into my life. My work is demanding and usually leaves me feeling physically, mentally, and emotionally drained at the end of the day.
So I did an audit of my time to see where I could find room for a new passion project. As I began writing out the activities in my week, I realized how many commitments I had that I didn’t want. Obligations that sat heavily on the page and filled me with dread.
I confronted the truth that I hadn’t been good at setting boundaries.
I would say yes every time someone asked…
- Will you give me career coaching for free?
- Will you write me a guest post for free?
- Will you make me a website for free?
- Will you run a diversity and inclusion workshop for my company for free?
Even when I didn’t have time.
Even when I hardly knew the person making the request.
Even when it strained my health and wellbeing.
Under capitalism, we all face unending pressures to serve powerful institutions and individuals without complaint. Those who are much more precarious and vulnerable than me rarely have the privilege to say no. And despite knowing better, I still constantly feel guilty that I can’t do and give more.
So if you need to hear this at this moment:
We need strong boundaries to be well. Boundaries are the necessary spaces we maintain between ourselves and others in order to lead healthy lives. They allow us to conserve our emotional energies for what is truly meaningful and valuable to us.
It starts with the acceptance that we’re worthy of being cared for and then learning to understand and communicate our own needs. We also need to respect others’ boundaries but not assume it’s our responsibility (when they’re adults) to ‘protect’ them from rejection.
In order to make time for my blog, I took a serious look at my own boundaries and where I had not enforced them as well as I could. I learned about the five types of personal boundaries (emotional, mental, time/energy, physical, and material) and how to practice empathic communication and self-acceptance to maintain them.
I created a resource for you from my research to help you better identify and communicate your own boundaries.
, I’d like to draw a tarot card for you in every Moon Rites email to offer some guidance for the next two weeks before you hear from me again. On this new moon, your card is the Ten of Swords. The Ten of Swords aligns perfectly with boundary-setting as it represents the inevitable end of a relationship. The loss may be painful but it won’t be a failure. You’ll be letting go in order to start a new chapter in your life, a chapter of much-needed change and renewal.
Please revisit Disorient in a few days to find two posts about teaching intersectional feminism. This was my most requested resource and I hope it’ll help inspire you to bring more of your values into the classroom and save you time from creating teaching materials from scratch.
P.S. Send this email over to a friend who has been giving too much of themselves lately and needs some extra care.