Dear friends,

When I first started meditating, it seemed simple enough: relax the body, notice the breath and bring your awareness back to the breath or the body when the mind wanders off. Then, I thought, there would be some wonderful inner transformations that just sort of happened on their own.

What took me years to discover was that it wasn’t so much about just being with the breath, or the body, but how I was being with the breath or the body. You could say it’s your attitude with your experience that matters more than the experience itself.

The English word attitude comes from the French word with the same spelling that meant several centuries ago the way a work of art was placed in a room. I have come to appreciate the mind as that work of art–it can be placed so it looks awkward, even bizarre, or beautiful and inspiring.

I love how the Buddha put it in one of the suttas, that one can “adorn the mind” such that it is as radiant as pure gold. Being aware of how we relate to our experiences moment by moment, we can adjust the placement our mind from dull to radiant.

By attitude I mean the way in which we feel, think, and respond to our moment by moment experiences. We often go through our day responding to various situations on automatic pilot. This is not really responding–it's more reacting from our conditioning.

The teacher Jose Ressig says mindfulness allows us to “sneak behind enemy lines” to spy on our unconscious reactive patterns. When we sense an offensive movement is about to happen we have the space to step back and breathe and -- adjust our mind with friendliness and curiosity.

Moments when we notice “wow, I was really starting to get worked up getting worked up there” may seem unremarkable. But they’re not. They are quite remarkable because they build on each other.

The teacher Gil Fronsdal says our attitude to our moment by moment experiences in meditation is like the soil in which the heart and mind are transformed.

If the soil is infertile, dry or impenetrably hard, Gil says, nothing useful can grow. If on the other hand the soil is soft and moist with humus, wondrous life of all kinds can flourish. Becoming aware of attitudes that sully the radiance of the mind is the first step in “adorning the mind” as the Buddha said, such that it radiates like pure gold.

We have spoken a lot in these newsletters about some of the unhelpful attitudes we may bring to our meditation cushions, such as expectation, ambition, striving, needing to be in control and being inpatient when unpleasant experiences arise.

Any time we leave our cushion believing our meditation is not going well, is the time to consider how I was relating to my wandering mind, or my aching muscles, or my boredom?

I have found it helpful to appreciate it's enough just to recognize what is happening; nothing needs to be fixed or changed.

The wandering mind, aching muscles, or boredom are not problems to be fixed; rather, they are the angelic moment presenting itself with broken wings.

If we embrace these moments with care, friendliness and curiosity, the wings mend themselves.

This process draws us to a deeper, caring connection with ourselves just as we are, and with others just as they are.

Be well,

Tom

Angel Applicant (1939) by Paul Klee. Original from The MET

This weekly newsletter offers the stray thoughts of a lazy meditator and student of Early Buddhism, nothing more. Authoritative teachings are on our resources page. Did a friend send you this and want to sign up? Easy sign up here.