Date: 26.10.2022

As the world continues to change - towards bad? - and further complicate our day-to-day lives. Having a set of values to guide you when things are tough will continue to be an important compass.

But how can you form such a fundamental personal document?

What I believe people aren't doing enough these days is sitting - comfortably. And trying to answer difficult-to-answer questions.

Facing hard-to-answer queries is a critical component of problem solving and potentially building a life that doesn't suck.

If you happen to desire a thought-provoking questions/answer session. I believe I have something that can interest your intelligence:

9 Provoking Critical Thinking Questions to Ignite Deep Reflective Discourse

I have a strong obsession with questions. I believe there is something strangely good in facing a query.

If you want to contribute to the list. Feel free to share a question by replying to this email.

• Thinkertoys by Michael Michalko: Written by the world’s most highly acclaimed creative expert, Michael Michalko – that’s right, he’s a creative grandmaster. Thinkertoys is an unusual book. It’s like an encyclopedia encapsulating thinking techniques, allowing you to come up with genius ideas. Plus, also, an elixir that will give your creativity a living pulse.

Full text for members only.

Interesting books I recently added to my reading list (and hopefully will read at some point):

• Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End by Atul Gawande: Philosophical discourse on the question of what makes life worth living. An essential guide helping us make plans for when we are older.
• How to Stay Sane by Philippa Perry: A short and surprisingly helpful book about keeping your sanity in check. It's like a user manual for your brain on how to not go insane.

Karen Horney

Born in 1885. Karen Horney was a German psychoanalyst who questioned some of the traditional Freudian views and moved to the US. There, she emphasized culture, self-realization, and interpersonal relationships. 

She is credited as the founder of feminist psychology and for her work in understanding human neurosis.

Big idea: Three categories of neurotic needs

From her experience as a practicing psychiatrist, Karen Horney distinguished ten patterns of neurotic needs that she later condensed into three:

• Compliance: This category of needs is characterized by the need to move toward people. The need for a partner and for social recognition. Affection and approval are desired, and also a need for a character who is supposed to solve all problems the neurotic person is facing.
• Expansion/Aggression: The need for power. The need for control. People within this category may show anger and hostility toward those around them. Partly, this is triggered by their desire to be recognized - to get public attention. But also, because they want to be known - perhaps even feared.
• Detachment/Withdrawal: The neurotic may be desperate for achievement. To prove himself. But also because he desires autonomy and total independence. This is shown by his desire for perfection where he fears being even slightly flawed. In children, this is observed when they try to be self-sufficient and often revoke help.

From my desk:

• The Importance of Teaching Critical Thinking: From the outset, critical thinking seems like an understandable concept – i.e., thinking better. While surely true, this definition is only touching the surface of what critical thinking truly is.

From around the web:

• Augmenting Long-term Memory: "In this essay we investigate personal memory systems, that is, systems designed to improve the long-term memory of a single person."

Karpman Drama Triangle

The Karpman drama triangle is a model that aims to describe the interactions between people when they are in conflict.

Also known simply as "the drama triangle". This model is a useful tool to orient yourself during social transactions.

As you can imagine, there are three roles in the drama triangle:

• The Victim: The Victim is not necessarily someone who is harmed or helpless. Rather, someone feeling and/or acting like one. The goal of the Victim is to convince himself and as well as others that they are in pain. That situation is unchangeable. This involves all kinds of maneuvers: Blaming. Acting needy. "Poor me!" syndrome.
• The Rescuer: The Rescuer likes to be needed. He is quick to offer a helping hand and feels guilty if he is unable to assist. Yet, their assistance has a negative effect: the Victim becomes dependent on the presence of the Rescuer. It prevents the former to grow and learn. But the motives of the helper persona go far beyond just aiding. When focusing on helping others, this gives them an opportunity to avoid their own anxieties and issues.
• The Persecutor (a.k.a. Villain): This character is the one that points the finger and says, "It's your fault!" The Persecutor is critical, blaming, and often angry. However, when blamed in turn. The Persecutor can become defensive and switch roles with the Victim.

Taking the last part into consideration.

Here's a question for you:

In what area do you hope to become error-free?

Thank you for your time!

Regards,

Ivaylo Durmonski

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