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VULNERABILITY
John Paraskevopoulos
In modern society, people go to great pains to avoid appearing vulnerable. A clue may be found in the Latin origin of this word (vulnerare) which means ‘capable of being wounded’. This is frequently seen as a weakness because it betrays our innermost frailties, and exposes the fears that we are reluctant to show the world. It can also lead us to imagine a false sense of control over circumstances, and an unwillingness to be candid with our emotions. The dread of being hurt in relationships, or in our dealings with a world that is often perceived as brutal, insensitive and pitiless, serves to undermine our capacity for intimacy and self-knowledge. All these dominant tendencies, which are quite common, are liable to cause much distress in our lives. They can stunt our inner growth and prevent us from becoming fully human – a state that is utterly precarious as it is infinitely precious.
Many believe that they have no resources on which to draw in coping with existence – even our own sense of right and wrong doesn’t always seem reliable. In fact, we sometimes go as far as to emotionally shut out the world altogether, blunting our receptivity to certain troubling experiences in life. If all we can rely on is our view of how things appear to us, we may become convinced that we’re able to protect ourselves, to some extent, from being overwhelmed by traumatic events that are harmful. However, in doing so, we might also be deprived of other perspectives which can help us to face the tribulations from which we seek to flee.
Śākyamuni Buddha taught that the root of our afflictions can be found only within us; specifically, these are the ‘three poisons’ of greed, anger and ignorance which provide the fuel that stokes our countless miseries. This malady, in turn, perpetuates our belief in a robust and abiding self-identity; a delusion that the impermanence of life soon exposes if only we had eyes to see it. By enhancing this sense of a solid ‘me’ that is separate from others, and disconnected from the world at large, we soon begin to form a hardened shell around us to safeguard our psyche from anxiety. In trying to let nothing in, we are also led to spiritual atrophy through lack of proper nourishment. So, what is this sustenance of which we are so greatly in need?
In the Larger Sutra, we hear about the Buddha of Immeasurable Light and Life; also known as ‘Amida’ – the accessible face of that which is timeless and inconceivable. This reality, possessed of “eternity, bliss, true self and purity”, is Nirvāna or the Dharma-Body; the essence of all things as their innate buddha-nature. Shinran Shōnin clearly teaches that this all-pervasive presence suffuses our disturbed hearts with its penetrating illumination and beneficent concern.
By receiving the Buddha’s marvelous radiance, we can enjoy its salutary influence in our everyday lives right now. The way in which Amida’s Vow works on us – to transform our disordered desires into emancipating wisdom – is through the call of Namo Amida Butsu; the Name assumed by the Buddha in order to summon lost beings who are drowning in the great ocean of birth-and-death.
This insight leads us back to our initial observations about being vulnerable yet completely human. Becoming permeated by the Buddha’s Light naturally makes us surrender to it, because its transformative power brings great spiritual relief to our existential torments. In doing so, we also come to resist our ingrained tendency to conceal anguish and sorrow, for we freely (and willingly) choose to give these up as well.
When we wholeheartedly encounter the immense compassion of the Buddha, we cannot but joyfully abandon the heavy shackles that constantly oppress our lives. No longer relying on a myopic and self-absorbed view of the world, we are free to accept and express ourselves fully without fear of being hurt or harshly judged by others. This can be done, with a candid recognition of all our imperfections, through the unconditional embrace of true life itself – Amida as imperishable reality – which does not distinguish the good from the bad, or the intelligent from the unwise.
In this way, we learn to become ‘our foolish self’, as the Pure Land master Hōnen once remarked. Thus, we no longer do violence to ourselves. By ceasing to grasp at distorted images spawned by our bombu
nature, we shed the brittle mask that cuts us off from everything that is genuine. Ultimately, entrusting surrender is the key, for it relieves our painful bondage to unwholesome karma, allowing us to become authentic individuals unburdened by the need to feign total control over our lives; or to pretend that we are better, or even other, than what we really are.
In gassho
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