I didn't get a chance to write a newsletter last month - I was fully immersed in work, life, and family. And truth to be told, emotionally, I felt overwhelmed at times.
This last February, I saw, and felt, a lot of heartache in my therapy room. And I wished, at times, to be able to magically sweep it away. But as always, I remain in awe of the strength and perseverance of the people who keep showing up, getting out of their comfort zone, and looking for ways to connect with their loved ones.
And I saw, and experienced, glimpses and moments of growth and connection. Of how partners keep searching for one another, across time, in spite of broken hearts and frail trust.
And oh, how absolutely breathtaking these moments were.
Because relationships are full of life, and their ebb and flow of growth needs continuous care and attention.
It makes sense that throughout the course of a life spent together with someone, we are going to run into challenges. Challenges are normal, and not to be afraid of. Knowing, however, how to solve them and repair the breaks that these challenges can make, is absolutely necessary for relationships to continue to grow successfully.
We spend our lives [hopefully] growing, evolving, developing, stretching our boundaries, and pushing our comfort zone, but more often than not, we forget that relationships need exactly the same. To be grown, developed, stretched, pushed out of their comfort zones, and made anew.
How often do you do that?
How often do you take time to understand how your relationship has evolved?
What its needs are?
What has stayed the same?
What has changed?
How about starting tonight?
Ask your partner.
"Hey, how have you changed recently?"
"How do you think/notice that our relationship has changed?"
Start that conversation. Most likely, you'll find that your partner is willing to engage and open up. And even if they don't want to, at that moment, you already tried something new. And that won't go unnoticed.