An Optimist Tries to Cheer Up His Pessimistic Friend
These two men have been best friends their whole lives and did everything together--grew up in neighboring apartments, went to the same schools, went to the same university, even got married on the same day. But one was a pessimist, and the other was an optimist. At every turn, the pessimist would say, "Look, we're probably going get screwed, so might as well accept it." While the optimist would tell him, "Don't say that! Life is great!" And of course, the optimist was always right. They both graduated with honors, got smoking hotwives and high-paying jobs, and raised loving, obedient children.
But then, disaster struck. One day, they both got laid off from their jobs, and when they came home, their apartment building had burned down, everyone inside was gone. With no wives, no kids, no homes, and no jobs, the two friends ended up living in a shared cardboard box in an alley. And when it started to rain, and their box got soggy, the pessimist turned to his friend the optimist and said, "OK, in our whole lives you've always been right; things always turned out better than I expected. But now, with all this tragedy, I have to say, things can't possibly get any worse."
Always the optimist, his best friend replied, "Of course, they can!" -