Hello my dears... I'm currently seated in my home office, the gentle glow of a comforting candle nearly (scented caramel), and I can't help but feel calmed by the partly clouded sky outside my window as night falls over my city. Adding to the serenity is the presence of the sweetest golden retriever laying literally on both of my feet, my temporary companion lent by my friend Lena. My doggy-sitting adventure began a few days ago and it's given me a blend of coziness and companionship as the year wraps up - and has been a wonderful friend to my son, Aidan.

As I reflect on the year gone by, I feel compelled to share an annual recap with you, my cherished friends on this email list. Thing is, I want this recap to be more than just a highlight reel of successes; it needs to share some of my challenges too because those also helped me to learn. Realness, relatability, and humanity lie in acknowledging the struggles alongside the triumphs. We learn from both. Personally, I find it easier to connect with those who share not only their "best of" moments but also the trials they've faced. When scrolling through social media and encountering lists of monumental successes, I often cringe, feeling that my achievements pale in comparison.

Yet, I've come to realize that our victories are uniquely ours—they matter to us, irrespective of how they measure up to others'. The same holds true for our losses; they are an integral part of our journey, shaping us in ways we might not fully comprehend.

Keeping this perspective in mind, here are 23 things that I learned in the year 2023. I wonder how many will resonate with you? If any of them do, please hit the reply button and let me know. It would be equally nice to hear from you.

1. I've learned that grief has a way of resurfacing. Just when you believe you've moved on from a painful loss (in my case, the passing of my parents in 2019 and 2022), grief can unexpectedly return with intensity. Standing alone on a cliff in Mallorca, camera in hand, gazing across the ocean toward the imagined east coast of America, thoughts of my parents flooded my mind. The realization of their permanent absence hit me hard, stirring a mix of emotions. In that moment, I acknowledged the need for professional support and resolved to seek therapy upon my return home.
2. I've also learned that grief can be addressed and healed. Back in Hannover, I found a therapist who has been instrumental in my healing journey. She is also an executive business coach. Regular sessions since May have significantly contributed to my recovery, bringing me to a point where I estimate I am nearly healed from the profound loss of my parents. This doesn't mean I will ever feel good about their death. But this does mean that I have given myself permission now to fully live instead of staying in a cycle of grief and pain.
3. I've learned that financial recovery is a testament to resilience. The pandemic posed considerable challenges, particularly for freelancers without the safety net of a supportive company. However, money has a way of finding its way back, and this year marked a significant upswing for me—my most prosperous in the last three years. This success is not just mine but extends to my family, whom I support. My heartfelt gratitude goes to loyal friends and fans who enrolled in my online courses, commissioned me for product and catalog photography, sought my expertise for lectures and fair visits, and engaged me in crafting concepts for their businesses. A special mention to Domotex in Hannover for entrusting me with the creation of trend exhibitions—I am thrilled to announce my next project from January 11-13. Occupying a 280m² space, I will  showcase trends and interiors while hosting a workshop space with nearly a dozen esteemed guests offering workshops and talks. You are welcome to join me, free of charge, between January 11-13. Whether you're interested in a complimentary mood board workshop with me, wish  to meet me, explore my exhibition, or experience the entire flooring and rug fair, simply hit reply, and I'll provide details on securing your free pass.
   
4. I've learned that Coaching holds an immensely special place in my heart. I had the privilege of serving as a business coach for two remarkable women from the USA in 2023. The experience was wonderful, and I am so grateful for the opportunity to provide care and support to these strong, confident ladies! As I look ahead to 2024, my coaching journey continues, [although I must note that I can only accommodate one more client as my schedule is nearing  capacity.] Guiding individuals to achieve remarkable growth in just 6-12 months is a truly fulfilling experience for both them and myself. Contemplating the future, I'm exploring the idea of forming a small, intimate group consisting of 8-10 women for monthly group coaching sessions throughout 2024. I find immense value in fostering change within the context of a small, close-knit  community—women who are not only well-matched but also deeply eager to instigate transformative shifts in their lives. If this interests you, click reply and let's talk.
   
5. I've learned that I'm finally ready to launch my dream online class. The moment has arrived to unveil my long-cherished online class, a dream that has been simmering and evolving over numerous years. With just a few finishing touches remaining, I anticipate an official launch in the upcoming months, in late Spring so around April or May.
   
6. I've learned that I want to go back to fairs. Following a hiatus prompted by the pandemic and a general weariness of constant travel and fair attendance, I took a step back. Now, I'm excited to re-engage, though with a more discerning approach this time. Rather than attending every event, I've chosen to prioritize those that resonate with my heart and offer the best opportunities for my business, as well as those that compensate fairly for the contributions of their "special guests." In 2024, I have received invitations to Domotex in Hannover, Salone del Mobile in Milan, XTANT (a heritage textile event in Mallorca), imm (Cologne), and Maison&Objet (Paris). While I had to decline some
   invitations, I'm excited to confirm my attendance at Domotex and Maison&Objet, both in January, and XTANT in May. As the new year unfolds, I look forward to exploring additional opportunities that align with my vision and values.
7. I also learned that I'm not a dog or a cat person and that's okay. While I'm not inclined to have a dog, cat, or any pets of my own, I happily take on the responsibility of caring for my friend's dog during school breaks. I grew up with pets so I guess I'm over it. My son has a longing for a canine companion, but the demands of city living without a yard make it challenging to maintain a pet full-time. Opting for a shared arrangement works well for us, offering my son the joy of having a dog to look forward to during the breaks—providing excitement and responsibility without the commitment of year-round care. I believe in the concept of animal sharing, as long as it doesn't inconvenience the animal, and it is a delightful solution for families like ours. Five stars!
8. I've learned to overcome procrastination and embark on the journey of learning the piano. While the prospect of becoming the next Yann Tiersen remains uncertain (LOL), I eagerly began playing for the first time in my life last week. Equipped with a fantastic new keyboard featuring weighted keys, a stand, and a comfortable seat, the experience has been immensely enjoyable so far. One HUGE perk is the ability to practice with headphones, sparing my family and neighbors from any potential nervous breakdowns, and allowing me to focus on my playing without feeling overly self-conscious about mistakes.
9. I've learned to be patient and finally study hard for my German driver's license. The entirety of 2023 was dedicated to intensive study, involving the
   memorization of 1300 exam questions, and I am delighted to share that I have successfully completed this challenging task. I need to pass the exam at the driving school and then I can go to the official driving office to take the written exam and if I pass, the 60 minute road exam. WISH ME LUCK. As soon as I get my license, I will celebrate BIG! I have lived in Germany since 2009 and never had my license (only USA) so this is a big life event for me. I thought I'd never drive again! Now, with my son approaching 10 years old, I envision embarking on road trips and engaging in enjoyable activities that my husband may not sharean interest in. The anticipation is building, and I can't wait to celebrate this achievement in a big way!!!
10. I've learned the true significance of friendship this year. I've forged numerous new connections, and among them, two individuals have become what I can onl describe as my besties. It might sound a bit funny at my age to use the term "besties," but these two friends in my city have genuinely become my closest confidantes, significantly enhancing my life. As time progresses and my son becomes more independent, I find myself with the luxury of dedicating more time to nurturing these friendships. This year has also unveiled how some friendships I've had were more acquaintances. On a positive note, I've deepened my connection with my other dear friends who reside outside of Hannover, contributing further joy to my life. As I say farewell to 2023, I feel so blessed to be surrounded by incredible friends, feeling truly blessed by the depth and authenticity of these connections. And you know why so many friend "successes" can to me this year? I finally decided to be myself with the good days and the bad days, and show others how I feel whether it's positive or not. I decided to drop my guard and be ME.
11. I've recently learned to love podcasts, with Mel Robbins being my #1 inspiration. Her insights have genuinely
    transformed my life in numerous ways. Through her engaging discussions, I've not only gained valuable knowledge but also went on a profound
    journey of self-discovery. I'm so inspired by her thought processes and the clarity with which she articulates her ideas. Mel Robbins has become a catalyst for positive change in my life, and I'm immensely grateful for
    the impactful influence she's had on my personal growth.
12. I've learned the invaluable lesson of being kinder to myself and granting forgiveness for past actions or words, liberating myself from the cycle of reliving unnecessary drama. I've come to recognize that as a highly sensitive individual and an overachiever, this journey requires a continuous effort. Striking a balance has been essential; whether it's feeling guilty for minor actions or overthinking situations, learning to let go and move forward has become a mantra. For someone like me, who tends to dwell on the details, it's about cultivating the ability to flow ahead and navigate life with a sense of ease and self-compassion.
13. I've learned that education is key to my happiness. That's why I made a deliberate choice to immerse myself in, and spend money on, various classes this year, broadening my skills and knowledge. I've learned to make a big part of my "free time" about learning vs. doom scrolling or Netflix binges. From engaging in a creative power workshop to delving into hand-lettering, art collage, watercolor painting, and combining hand-lettering with watercolors, I've explored a diverse range of creative pursuits. I've dedicated time to numerous online courses, covering a bevy of business topics and enhancing my proficiency in creating Reels. Looking ahead, my curiosity now leads me to wanting to learn how to create a home filming studio for my classes - understanding the essentials, setup techniques, and everything in between.
    
14. I've learned that I need a team if I want to grow. I'm actively seeking a video editor to handle the cutting of videos and a skilled professional to manage the marketing and advertising aspects of my classes, both on a freelance, remote basis. Already, I've hired a local photographer to capture regular images of me and my creative projects. Starting in February, I'll work regularly with my business coach, and I'm also gearing up for closer collaboration
    with my literary agent to propel my book project forward. This strategic approach to assembling a team reflects my commitment to fostering growth and achieving new heights in the coming year.
15. I've learned that slow growth is good growth. This was something I learned from my friend, Bonnie. All growth is good!
    
16. I've learned to become more comfortable being alone. I've come to realize that I'm never truly alone—I'm always in the company of myself. The concept of being alone fades away when I find joy in my own company. I've embraced solo experiences, treating myself to dinners and cafes, and relishing the moments of solitude. This journey has become a genuine process but I'm working through it. [Yes, I am married, but my husband is not social and doesn't leave the house much. This means that most everything outside of the house, I do alone or with friends.]
    
17. I've learned that there is no going back for me. I wanted to return to my home country, maybe move to California or coastal Maine, but I decided to stay here in Europe where I've been since 2009. I don't need to ping pong back and forth, or relocate to another country here, or live in multiple countries, I am happiest in Germany and want to immigrant fully here and even get my German passport in 2024 so, like my son, I'll have an American and a German passport. #goals 
18. I've learned that I am ready to buy property. I've learned a little late in life (but at least I learned!) to make better financial decisions, stop over-spending, and to buy a lovely place to fix up using my nearly two decades of experience in design to create a lovely home. I have learned that renting is no longer for me. I actually hate it! I want a big home renovation project so badly!
19. I've learned that I want decor8 to also be a design studio. I want to design home collections, rugs, flooring, and also design more concepts for hotels, cafes, restaurants and shops - and also trend zones and exhibitions at fairs. I love it and I want to do more!
20. I've learned to say no. Finally. Without regret or guilt. It feels like a really big girl, grown up word - NO. But it's so true when they say that saying NO to others is saying YES to you and this is TRUTH. I no longer say yes to everything. I make people wait if I know the quality of my work will be better. I don't say yes to projects that I don't really enjoy doing. 
21. I've learned that it's better to be alone than to be alone WITH someone else. Many people can provide a warm body, or an ear, but are they really making you feel comforted, loved, supported? Or more alone? This includes friendships!
    
22. I've learned that my child isn't also my little friend. I've come to understand that my role as a parent is distinct from being my child's little friend—a lesson that didn't come easily for me. Growing up, my mom was my best friend, and this fostered a dysfunctional dynamic with an unfortunate outcome. I've realized the importance of placing myself in the position of authority as a parent rather than seeking equal standing. While I initially absorbed numerous parenting
    philosophies from books, the idea of just letting things flow and being my son's buddy felt conflicting. I struggled with the notion of not pushing him too hard or saying no too often. However, I've now recognized the necessity of being firm, setting boundaries, and guiding him to persevere even when it's challenging. It's crucial for his development and future success. Allowing him to coast through life with
    me doing everything might create short-term comfort, but it won't help him build resilience. He needs the chance to face failures and setbacks,as these experiences are essential for character development.
23. I've learned to love swimming. I spent nearly all summer in swimming pools with my son. When we went to the alps, we went to pools, lakes and streams. When we went to our summer house, we went to the pond - rain or shine. We spent so much time in the local swimming pool too - it was great. And on holy night, we went to a candlelight swimming session and my son and I did water aerobics with Santa! A riot! On Sunday (new year's day) we will go to a special morning swimming session again to wrap up the year. I always thought swimming was for children and old people. Now it really is true - for me and my son! ha ha!

My dear friends, those are some things I've learned this year. What about you? What did you learn? Maybe you can make a list of 23 things and share them on your social channels, blog, Substack, newsletter, or simply write them in your journal. It really helps to close out the year thinking of what you have learned from the good and hard times. This way, you can enter the new year with confidence that it will also be another year of growth and opportunity for you!

With love,

Holly