SARAH STEFFES, BOOK STUDY INVITATION

This adult book study will meet virtually Wednesdays from 12:00 - 1:00 p.m. for 10 sessions beginning January 18, 2023 to discuss the book What Happened To You?by Dr. Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey. You can check your local library, Amazon or local bookstore for a copy of the book or listen to it on Audible. This book study will be facilitated by Sarah Steffes with Circle of Care.

On page 9, A Note from the Authors, Dr. Perry and Oprah invite us to be in control of our own reading experience. They understand the challenges of reading both disturbing emotional content and new, initially challenging, science content. In their wisdom, they invite us on a reading journey that we control, encouraging us to stop, ponder, rest, walk away and eventually return.

There is no requirement on sharing during meetings, or how many meetings you attend. Come as your schedule allows!

Please complete this form to indicate your interest in the book study and receive meeting information. If you have questions, please contact Sarah at sarah.steffes@circleofcare.org

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     STRONG4LIFE

The phrase “safe, stable, nurturing relationship” was officially coined by the CDC in the context of child abuse prevention. You don’t need to memorize the words, but here’s what they mean:

• Safe: The relationship is free of physical or psychological harm.
• Stable: The adult is dependably there for the child.
• Nurturing: The child’s physical, emotional and developmental needs are sensitively and consistently met.

Safe, stable, nurturing relationships have a huge impact on building resilience in children. “They create a sense of safety and security, and with that foundation, the child feels confident taking risks and trying new things,” says Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta Strong4Life licensed therapist Jody Baumstein, LCSW.

You can be somebody’s rock and not be on your game 100% of the time. Maybe you had a stressful week at work and lost your patience with the child—or didn’t notice they had a bad week too. “Part of the safety of those relationships is the ability to make mistakes and repair them. As long as you’re paying attention and meeting needs a majority of the time, the child is going to feel that,” says Baumstein.

By making and admitting to mistakes (and then making things right), you also show the child you are human, and no human is perfect. That’s a powerful message for a struggling child.

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     ANNE ALEXANDER, MINDFULNESS.ORG

I used to think resilience was a kind of toughening up, a leathering or weathering of our inner and outer resources that hardened our weaknesses and made us less vulnerable to the slings and arrows in life. Hemingway’s phrase about being “strong in all the broken places” seemed to poetically capture what I’d considered resilience.

But I don’t subscribe to that theory any longer.

No, I’ve come to see that resilience is the opposite. It requires mental suppleness, flexibility, and a raw vulnerability that allow us to dive deeply into our psyche—especially the broken places—and see ourselves, our thoughts and feelings, our beauty and longings, hurts and wounds, shadows, worst delusions and misdeeds, and to hold all of that with compassion, curiosity, and loving care.

And when we become more tender with ourselves, we can see a path to becoming more tender with others, too.

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     MURPHY, APSAC.COM

Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) have become ubiquitous within a variety of disciplines, including the public health, social work, medicine, law, and criminal justice fields. The pivotal 1998 Centers for

Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and Kaiser Permanente ACEs study (CDC-Kaiser ACEs study) highlighted the prevalence of childhood adversity and the lifelong, intergenerational effects of early exposure to toxic stress. Since then, literature on ACEs has developed significantly, yet two decades later, the field is in need of robust, cohesive strategies to reduce or prevent ACEs. The editors, Drs. Asmundson and Afifi (2020), and contributors of this book seek to close this gap by providing historical information on ACEs and childhood trauma, overviewing the current research related to ACEs impact and outcomes, discussing recent controversies and developments of ACEs instruments, and guiding next steps for policy, prevention, and continued research. Central to this book, as noted by the authors, is its relevance to diverse audiences with the shared
mission to understand, treat, and prevent ACEs. Sections I and II examine ACEs through a historical context and highlight current efforts in the field.

As mentioned, the CDC-Kaiser ACEs study found that child adversity is common and associated with physical, psychological, and social problems in adulthood. The adverse experiences examined in this initial study include physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, physical neglect, emotional neglect, violence against a mother, parental divorce, household member with substance use/abuse issues, household member with mental illness, and incarcerated household member. Research indicates that childhood exposure to one or more ACEs increases the risk of physical health (e.g., cardiovascular conditions or chronic metabolic disorders), mental health (e.g., depression, substance abuse), and behavioral issues. Moreover, children who experience ACEs are more prone to participating in risky behaviors and violence, including sexual violence, perpetration, or victimization. The pervasiveness of ACEs and their impact on various aspects of an individual’s life initiated a public health response to address this problem.

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     CHERYL STEP, CREATING RESILIENCE, LLC

In order to move in the right direction, I believe that people and organizations should understand the interplay between power and connection. This understanding should drive our individual responses as well as how organizations interact with the community and even how policies should be considered at a state or national level. I recently heard a very profound statement that has impacted my life and infiltrated my thoughts. Stephen Porges said that whenever we interact, we can take one of two tracks. We can take the track of power, or we can take the track of connection.

He went on to say that we also have to understand that power harms connection. When we encounter a power struggle, we become defensive because our body senses threat or danger. When we enter a defense mode, our brain shifts into the emotional or survival brain where we instinctively react rather than thoughtfully respond. So, during a power struggle, people are reacting to each other and the situation rather than reflecting and responding with well thought out intentions. Often things are said or done in the moment that harm the connection because it is very difficult to feel threatened and feel connected at the same time. Our brain prioritizes our safety. This should inspire us to seek connection more than take a stand with power, especially when working with people who may have experienced a lot of adversities.

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