So, it came as a complete shock when I walked into the massage parlor this week, that MY masseuse looked me straight in the eye and asked me: have you been here before? Say what?!
See, this was the FOURTH TIME in the span of two months that I found myself face to face with her, having a conversation.
Have you ever forgotten someone that you've talked to FOUR TIMES?
I don't think so.
And it's not like I had plastic surgery, removed my eyebrows, or went blonde. No. Nothing about me changed.
I'll be honest, it hurt. And it made me wonder, am I forgettable?
Because, here's the kicker: my friend recommended me to her and I have a strong feeling that this masseuse we both go to on a regular basis remembers HER. It's simply impossible to forget my friend. She's that person, you know, the EXTROVERT.
And then I wondered about something else...would my friend say the same thing about me?
And lastly, does any of this matter?
Yes, and no.
If you're at a job interview, of course, you want to stand out and be unforgettable. You want the damn job and everything that comes with it.
If you're at a massage parlor, meh, it doesn't matter so much (other than how much you'll end up tipping).
The problem is if you take what you see and feel at the massage parlor, and bring it along to the job interview. You're screwing yourself out of the job even before you walk into the room.
All this wondering I'm doing about my individuality significantly increases the chance of social anxiety tagging along in another (more important) encounter. Because here's the thing: this masseuse planted a seed in my head that's hard to root out. No one wants to be forgettable. Especially after running into someone FOUR times. Geez, I'm just going to keep reiterating that fact because it's mind-blowing.
So now, I'm making it a THING in my head.
And this THING makes me feel inadequate. Boring. Plain. Unworthy.
But there is a way to break free from this train of thought. And you know, not awaken the social anxiety beast inside.
So, if you currently feel like this or at any moment in time will, here's what you do.
Describe and follow one of these two paths (really, what I mean to say is, describe and follow the secure path). There, problem solved!
The secure and insecure paths.