This week, in a short chapter, Jeremy thinks about everything that's happened with Ty.
Days like this, I wished I’d ridden my bike to rehearsal. Peddling home, going over the Brooklyn Bridge, headed for Fort Greene, was a great way to clear my head. And my head needed to not only be cleared, but possibly examined.
Unfortunately, tonight I was on the subway so all I could do was sit and overthink what had happened. It was nearly ten, and the subway was fairly empty; I got a seat easily because there were only a dozen or so people in the car.
Ty had initiated the kiss, and it was far beyond a kiss shared between performers acting out roles. My response was totally wrong, even though I wanted it, and I ended up encouraging him. It’d be one thing connecting with someone in the ensemble. People dated in shows all the time, sometimes for the run of the show or longer. Sometimes people met the love of their lives working together.
Ty Beaumont was different. He was a star. Okay, not an A-level star. It wasn’t like I was crushing on Hugh Jackman and getting all squishy over a kiss. But still, Ty was way out of my league. If he decided I was a distraction, he could make the show very difficult for me.
He wouldn’t do that, though. I shook my head vigorously at the thought, which got me a stare from the woman sitting across from me. She probably thought I was having some sort of a fit. At least I wasn’t talking out loud.
Was he just horny and looking to get off? Or was there something there? Was I sending him signals of some kind?
I’d tried to stay focused on the work. This was my job, after all. Not working directly with him, of course. In fact, he’s the one who asked me to help after dinner. But help to ensure the show was the best it could be was my job. Yes, there might’ve been times I watched Ty with my libido more than with a critical performer’s eye. Maybe he saw that.
But was he gay? I really didn’t know.
I wanted more than just a random hookup, or to date someone knowing there wasn’t a future. Ty’s commitment to the show extended for a year from the start of previews. But if the show tanked, he could move on well before then. And even if we dated and lasted for a year, then what?
He was probably just caught up in the moment. We’d been working together, touching each other, two evenings in a row. Although the touches weren’t sexual, or at least they weren’t supposed to be, I got a rush every time. Did he get that too? Is that where the kiss came from?
God, I hoped things weren’t weird tomorrow.
I banged my head against the wall behind me. Maybe I could knock some sense into myself.
But what if?
What if we could become a couple? What would he be like as a boyfriend?
After being around him the last couple of weeks, he seemed to me like a great guy. Dinner was enjoyable. A date would be fun. From what I’d seen in this show so far, he at least knew how to act romantic.
It’d be amazing to wake up, my arm wrapped around him, sharing a quick kiss before we got breakfast. Going to openings and walking the red carpet together. Longing for each other if we were traveling for work. My mind flashed to the closing scene of The Goodbye Girl where Marsha Mason figures out Richard Dreyfuss is coming back because he left his guitar. What could our touchstones be?
I rested my head against the wall, a smile growing as I thought about the possibilities.
This was stupid. It couldn’t happen. I sighed as the train pulled into my stop. I grabbed my pack off the floor and exited the train, then acknowledged, with a smile, the woman that had been watching.
Maybe I should’ve stayed in Wicked. Then I’d just see Ty on stage like I had before. I could’ve maintained my crush, and no one could be hurt.
I wanted him badly after that kiss. Hopefully my head would keep me smart, rather than letting me do anything else stupid. If I was lucky, we’d never speak of tonight again.
Next Friday: Rehearsal goes very wrong.
Fun fact: Another of my favorite show-biz movies crops up here with The Goodbye Girl. Since the first time I saw it on cable TV back in the early 80s, I have adored this film. Long before I knew what a trope was, the enemies-to-lovers story between struggling actors Elliot and Paula captured me (not to mention the perfect performances by Richard Dreyfuss and Marsha Mason). The grand gesture at the end, leaving the guitar behind, was so sweet that my tween heart melted—and it still does every time I see the movie. Jeremy and Ty don’t have the prickly relationship, but Jeremy’s a romantic and he’ll reference sweeping gestures anytime he can.
Next week is also the halfway point in Love’s Opening Night. I’ll see you back here on day one of the new year with that installment... along with something fun to kick off 2021!
Take care, Jeff
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