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Micro-Reframe #7
Rest Is More Than Sleep
I want to park two thoughts at the start of this reframe for you to consider.
The first is, as the title of the reframe suggests, not all rest is sleep.
The second consideration is that rest is not the antidote for tiredness or exhaustion. It is instead, perhaps,. a way of navigating, managing and ameliorating overwhelm. And that overwhelm is a significant player in the experience of tiredness, exhaustion and stress.
Rest as Resistance and Rebellion
There’s a lot of shit-talk thrown at rest thanks to capitalism, ableism, patriarchy, white supremacy and a grind culture that shapes our world .
When you look at rest through those lenses you can understand why Tricia Hersey says rest is an act resistance.
Rest becomes a rebellion, a reimagining of life when we start to pull apart:
* the guilt and shame associated with rest
* lies about indulgence
* and the perverse sense of inadequately around needing to rest … much less intentionally choosing to rest.
We all know the cost of a life defined by efficiency and relentless activity. We have all suffered at the hands of it.
A New Kind of Rest
The rest of Replenishment says enough!
The rest of Replenishment says, we are enough.
The rest of Replenishment says, fuck you, I am enough.
So let’s invite a kind of rest into our every day which is both protective and restorative.
Proactive and provocative .
Rest that supports the repair of our energetic leaks but also gives us a sense of renewal. That refills our hearts and souls, alongside our bodies and our minds.
Rest which is an active choice of relief.
Rest that is more than just sleep.
What is Rest?
At the most fundamental level, rest is about changing the amount of stimulus we experience, usually to lessen the stimulus.
Rest is about having a break, about having down time.
Rest is associated with relaxation — but need not necessarily be relaxing.
Rest is an intentional disruption of the relentless nature of life. To portion life into mouthfuls which we can slowly chew on, savour and digest.
Seven Key Areas of Rest (Dr Dalton-Smith)
Dr Saundra Dalton-Smith, working with new mothers, identified seven key areas of rest. They are
* sensory
* social
* emotional
* physical
* mental
* spiritual
* creative
I love this frame work that thinks broader about where and how we can find rest. It allows us to get truly creative about how and why and where we seek our down time. To get specific about relief. It allows us to tailor rest exactly to our needs.
The 7 S's of Rest (Evidence from a Depth Year)
Across the depth year program I ran last year, we had six months of ongoing discussion around what rest is and needs to be (before I knew about Dr Dalton-Smith’s work.)
We came up with the 7 S’s:
* solace
* space
* simplicity
* silence
* solitude
* stillness
* sleep
Solace
Solace is about comfort.
A depth of comfort normally reserved for others who are in distress.
Here is becomes self compassion, self kindness, self love as much as it is the physical comfort of a weighted blanket, boundaries with energy vampire or intentionally cultivating a relationship with beauty — which I am certain strums the string of solace.
Space
Space is also the concept of spaciousness. Of internal and external space. This boundaries (again) and activities such as daydreaming as much as it is about going outside to stand on the grass.
Simplicity
Simplicity goes hand with specificity which goes hand in hand with discernment. Simplicity is a potent partner with both solace and space.
Silence
We don’t realise how loud our worlds are, or how draining that is, until we intentionally turn everything off. Turn the volume all the way down.
Silence is a potent form of sensory rest. Here less is more.
Solitude
Solitude is like the big social exhale … the relief that goes the whole way through your body.
It’s worth remembering aloneness is not loneliness.
Sometimes we just need to be ourselves. It’s not anti-social (I’d actually go as far as saying, filling up your well this way is very pro-social).
Plus, there is nothing more potent in terms of “being the center” of your life than being the only person, for a short period of time, in your life.
Slowness and Stillness
Both are about disrupting the speed with which you move through life.
Stillness and slowness is not stopping. They create space for pauses and pivots. Of being able evaluate and change direction. That discernment piece.
Cultivating a relationship with slowness can lead to an appreciation for stillness.. Which as an aside doesn’t mean sitting still. Active stillness is definitely a thing.
An important side note, a need for perpetual movement can be about safety for anyone who has experienced and lives with, trauma. Thus, slowness and stillness can be terrifying suggestions. They are also powerful ways to bring healing to the nervous system
Sleep
While I am partial to an afternoon nap, and as a recovering insomniac I know how important sleep is — sleep can be a bit of a hammer solution if you are looking at it as the only solution to tiredness and exhaustion.
Rest Revisited
Combining Dr Dalton-Smiths’s 7 categories with the 7 S’s creates a rich and complex matrix of rest potentials that can target overwhelm as one of the root causes of tiredness, stress and exhaustion.
Rest is the next frontier. One of your design.
REFLECTION
- Which of Dr Dalton-Smith's seven areas are you drawn to? (Which one makes you nauseous?)
- Which of the 7 S's are you drawn to? (Which one is a hard hell-no?)
- If you tease apart illness, tiredness, exhaustion, stress and overwhelm -- which one do you have the most influence over?
EMERGENCY TRIAGE
The Rest Matrix
Download the overview/worksheet here.
This is offered in three parts - starting small and getting more complex as we go.
One Topic
Focus first on one topic which would support easing your overwhelm.
Maybe the tool for you is simplicity. Or the area that makes most sense is emotional rest.
Map out a few activities which correspond to those and then start doing them. As often and as imperfectly as you can.
One x Seven
If you have a little more personal bandwidth take one area and work it across multiple tools. eg social rest across solace/space/simplicity/silence/solitude/stillness.
Or take one rest tool and work is across multiple areas: etc simplicity with sensory/social.physical/emotional/mental/spiritual/creative
Or as many as you have capacity for.
What activities come out of these combinations?
Maybe there is no good fit for some. Perhaps there is a surprising fit with others.
Seven x Seven
When you’re ready, or as a tracking sheet, fill more and more of this worksheet out until you have a completed matrix. This could be a year or two's exploration.
Take note of where one activity appears multiple times.
Is it an easy suggestion or does it hit rest on a multiple of fronts and does that make it a uber rest activity .
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