That quote I've shared is a funny one for me. You see, if you're woking with me, I'll be focussing on getting you to put yourself first and NOT to give too much of yourself away to others. Therefore a whole life dedicated to the service of others doesn't necessarily ring true. On the flip side, I do talk about service to others as part of my 12 core pillars of life - you see it's in the "se va" - a Sanskrit word meaning "a service which is performed without any expectation of result or award for performing it" - that we actually give the right part of ourselves away in order to receive the jewels of life.
"Living creatures are nourished by food, and food is nourished by rain; rain itself is the water of life, which comes from selfless worship and service."
It's a game of circle of life. An attitude of gratitude and truly, the feelings evoked by 'se va' cannot be compared with anything else. By supporting your community, you are providing a service of good will - you never know how much you will be helping another, but just knowing that you have done so will fill you up.
I needed some help this week and the person who came to my rescue was a sister from another mister. She's a single mum raising a boy. Whenever I'm struggling with my life, I think about her and how she does it - because quite frankly, she's a bloody superwoman!
This week, my son decided to say the f-word whilst tidying his toys away at my mum's 😳 (he's 3). For each car he put away, he said the f-word. When my mum asked him what he was saying, he said it. She then suggested he use "oh dear" instead and he did. My mum told me about this and I went from 0 to 100 on the 'I'm a rubbish mum' scale and I felt devastated. My mum's delivery was really kind, she was only giving me an FYI. What was interesting is that my son used it in context. When I'm having a week of it, I will, under my breath say it whilst tidying. Both my husband and my mum were really kind to me after I reacted but I needed more.
So I rang Fiona and told her. She laughed and said there's more where that came from and started to share what her son has done and said (he's 6 now.) I can't even begin to describe how much better I felt. Not only had she shared with me but she gets me and understood why I would have reacted. It was just another nail in the 'curse of the working mum' cycle.
Needless to say, I felt safe talking with her. I was able to tell her without feeling judged and she was kind and nurturing - this is what I needed. At that precise moment, I needed to be told that it was ok to feel bad and that I am doing the best I can with the resources I currently have. SHE IS MY COMMUNITY. I give to her also.
Community seems to have been overshadowed and perhaps diminished since the arrival of social media and our ever-increasing busy lives - seeing the best versions of everyone's life on social and for mum's, Fiona put it best "those mum's that say life is all Unicorns and babies poo-ing glitter, is bull* and they can just f-off!" Aside from social media, where has the sense of community gone within our friends and neighbours? I'm lucky where I live, we have always been there for each other in my building - it's modern day beauty. But I know it's not the same for others. It's not fair that we all feel so judged being single, not being married, having kids, not having kids, working, not working...the list goes on.
Anyway, this could go on. Just be there for someone, support your community in the best way possible. Give back when you can and remove any judgements you might hold.
This week's blog is The importance of Community for your Mental Well-being. It focuses on helping the community at large whereas this email has been about smaller communities within our lives. It's a bit of a rant but hopefully a little insightful too.
On to fun things - fancy coming to a retreat in Spain! Check out this email here and let me know.
Oh and I'm offering you guys on my list £100pp off the 10th May retreat in a twin room - if you want to take up this offer, just reply to this email. I have to confirm all places by 26th April so even if you can't pay for it yet, just let me know if you want to come so I can save your place.
Lots of love
P.S Sorry if you get this twice, there's a glitch in my mailer system 😤