'Tis the Season to Stay Sane & Smash Colonial Patriarchy

I love reading gift guides, and I love making them. And yet.

I have serious misgivings about holiday excess, handing our money to large retailers who don't give back to our communities, and the corporate pillaging of the poor, working, and middle classes. 

And that's just the money. All of this is tied up in colonialism, in white supremacy, in sexism and ableism, and so many others to count or name them would quickly become a list of "and," "and," and "and."

So, this list is social justice minded. The process was so much harder than I expected it to be. I had hoped to finish this last week. Instead, it took me over a week of persistent work.

Please use it. Please forward it to folks you think might want to use it. Please post it to your social media.

Since it took so much effort to put together, I'd really like this resource to be used.

Experiences Instead of Things

• Most of us want to simplify the holidays. Many of us are unsatisfied with the gifts we get, and the ones we give. We are creating and accumulating millions of tons of crap without even consciously thinking about it. It is horrifying when you start looking at the environmental toll and material waste numbers. Most people are over getting loads of shit.
• Of course, there are traditions and cultural  expectations at odds with our preferences, but research demonstrates that only 1% of Americans say that shopping is their favorite part of the holidays. And how many of us have a closet full of crap people gave us but we've never used?
• The research shows that experiences, not things, makes us happier.
• Here is a list of ideas for giving experiences and not things. If you come up with more, hit reply to this email and I will add them to the list.

Giving Things

Youngsters

• Personalized family dolls. More beautiful plush dolls created and sold by a mother's collective in the Philippines, whose mission is to keep the weaving and fabric arts alive. They are located in the Philippines, but you can pay through paypal.
• Lots of fun wooden animals and toys.
• Primary Clothing—simple basics, gender non-specific clothing.
• Bug Bingo Game.

• Mini Tumbling Blocks (Jenga) that you can personalize with names and messages. This site has lots of other fun wooden game sets.
• Personalized note pads. These are a bit more sophisticated.
• My kid's friend group is big into bow ties, and like to dress up in ugly sweaters and Santa hats. These outfits are pretty snazzy and go up to size 16. There are loads more options in their store.
• Leg/arm warmers. Kids into tattoos can use these as sleeves. ;-)

Teens and Adults

• A Bandolier—hand's free phone case/strap. These are handcrafted, can be personalized, and come in a variety of styles and and colors.
• Catherine Bell makes these gorgeous fabric earnings as well as other fabric clothing and accessories. 
• Rainbow/pride belt. This rainbow kilt is one of the coolest things I've seen. I am not even remotely surprised that the rainbow titties tee is a best seller. lol.
• Bags, lunch boxes, and so on. Catherine SoYoung's message is about self worth products that last.
• Upcycled/Recycled bags made of plastic bags.
• For the foodie in your life: these gorgeous serving spoons, these handmade serving dishes and tableware (which are stunning), and these Iroquois white corn products from Ganondagan.
• About Would Works and The Giving Keys both offer work and support for folks transitioning out of homelessness and sell cool products to boot. 

Stocking Stuffers

• Solid shampoo.
• Kraken Yarn Pin. There are other swell goodies on this site too.
• Pride pins and bracelets.
• Anything from Emily McDowell's store. 
• Dad joke: Expelliarmus.

Books For Everyone

• Books for youngsters:
  • Where are you From? ages 8 and under.
  • Festival of Colors ages 8 and under.
  • Write to Me ages 4 and up.
  • Free as a Bird: The Story of Malala ages 4 and up.
  • Meet Yasmin ages 5 and up.
  • The joys of America's National Parks all ages.
  • 40 Books celebrating Native and Indigenous Girls ages vary.
  • Books for Diversity has many suggestions for a variety of ages.
• One of my favorite podcasts is by two epidemiologists who get stoked about disease. Here is their book list, which contains so many interesting reads. If you have a teen who reads, one of these might be the perfect way to stir their interest in history, science and politics. There are fiction as well as non-fiction texts here. Some are very accessible and some are more scientific. Read the reviews to get a sense of what will work for the folks you're gifting them to.
• For your snarky feminist friend: grab an audio version of this.

Smash the Patriarchy

• Holiday Cards with the perfect sentiment.
• We all need Fist Up Tassle Earrings. 
• Erin Gibson is divesting from the patriarchy, starting with her makeup. Here are her go-to women-owned makeup picks. (Aside: I thought this was a ridiculous amount of money for makeup, but then I am a person who has some eyeliner under the sink that I bought at Walgreen's. Apparently, I am wrong and people spend a shit-ton of money on makeup.)

Smash Colonialism

• An Indigenous subscription box.
• A list of ways to support Native peoples and businesses.
• Clothing and textiles made and sold by Native Peoples. 
• Making sure the products and decor in your home are actually made by Native Peoples.
• Another cool subscription box: CURLBOX.  Owned by a woman who has struggled to find good curly and natural hair products; the site has many good reviews. 
• Backing Black Businesses is still in beta, but you might get hits in your area. There are a handful of apps available as well. Here is a great list from Essences of 88 Black Owned Businesses. 

Giving Cash

There are so many organizations that need your cash. With recent fires and hurricanes, with a humanitarian crisis in reservations across the continent and asylum seekers at the boarders, with #allthethings happening in the world right now, no one place is the right or wrong place to give. Give where you want, but check Charity Navigator first to validate the organization and see where the money is going. Here a few ways to give:

• Blink Now is an amazing organization, and when you give to it you're giving to so many people and services. Maggie was traveling through Nepal (just out of high school), saw a need and addressed it. She started adopting kids, built a school, built a health center, and is still enriching the community in so many ways. What Maggie and her team are doing in Nepal is next level. 
• Kiva's small loan investment programs make an immediate impact on an individual or family that helps them create a livelihood their improves their quality of life.
• There are so many groups assisting asylum seekers and families separated at the boarder, as well as groups helping with the recent fires. All could use your help.
• Donating locally is a great bet, too. If you know the people organizations, it can lead to feeling like your donation matters more.
• A person who needs your help. For instance, this is Bud and his dog Emilee, who I met in my orthodontist's parking lot.They have been tossed around by the system multiple times. Some of his friends have made a gofundme which help pay for his basic needs, and a hotel when the weather requires it. Maybe there is someone like Bud you can help in your area.

NOT Giving Gift Cards and NOT Going Into Debt

• I include this every year, but giving gift cards to chain stores and eateries is a bad idea. A 2014 study showed that $10 billion in cards go unused every year, which means free money to corporations who don't even pay a living wage to their employees. 
• Give cash to young people you're thinking of buying a gift card for. They will get a lot of joy, and you're not giving to the corporate machine.
• American's rack up a significant amount of debt during the holidays, and then spend all year paying it off (or not paying it off, and adding more debt to it the next year). Debt is a gift to no one, and anyone who thinks going into debt for gifts needs to rethink their priorities. Who wins when we go into debt? The Patriarchy. 

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