'Tis the Season to Smash the Patriarchy & Stay Sane

'Tis the Season to Stay Sane & Smash Colonial Patriarchy

I love reading gift guides, and I love making them. And yet.

I have serious misgivings about holiday excess, handing our money to large retailers who don't give back to our communities, and the corporate pillaging of the poor, working, and middle classes. 

And that's just the money. All of this is tied up in colonialism, in white supremacy, in sexism and ableism, and so many others to count or name them would quickly become a list of "and," "and," and "and."

So, this list is social justice minded. The process was so much harder than I expected it to be. I had hoped to finish this last week. Instead, it took me over a week of persistent work.

Please use it. Please forward it to folks you think might want to use it. Please post it to your social media.

Since it took so much effort to put together, I'd really like this resource to be used.

Experiences Instead of Things

Giving Things


  • Mini Tumbling Blocks (Jenga) that you can personalize with names and messages. This site has lots of other fun wooden game sets.
  • Personalized note pads. These are a bit more sophisticated.
  • My kid's friend group is big into bow ties, and like to dress up in ugly sweaters and Santa hats. These outfits are pretty snazzy and go up to size 16. There are loads more options in their store.
  • Leg/arm warmers. Kids into tattoos can use these as sleeves. ;-)

Teens and Adults

Stocking Stuffers

Books For Everyone

Smash the Patriarchy

Smash Colonialism

Giving Cash

There are so many organizations that need your cash. With recent fires and hurricanes, with a humanitarian crisis in reservations across the continent and asylum seekers at the boarders, with #allthethings happening in the world right now, no one place is the right or wrong place to give. Give where you want, but check Charity Navigator first to validate the organization and see where the money is going. Here a few ways to give:

  • Blink Now is an amazing organization, and when you give to it you're giving to so many people and services. Maggie was traveling through Nepal (just out of high school), saw a need and addressed it. She started adopting kids, built a school, built a health center, and is still enriching the community in so many ways. What Maggie and her team are doing in Nepal is next level. 
  • Kiva's small loan investment programs make an immediate impact on an individual or family that helps them create a livelihood their improves their quality of life.
  • There are so many groups assisting asylum seekers and families separated at the boarder, as well as groups helping with the recent fires. All could use your help.
  • Donating locally is a great bet, too. If you know the people organizations, it can lead to feeling like your donation matters more.
  • A person who needs your help. For instance, this is Bud and his dog Emilee, who I met in my orthodontist's parking lot.They have been tossed around by the system multiple times. Some of his friends have made a gofundme which help pay for his basic needs, and a hotel when the weather requires it. Maybe there is someone like Bud you can help in your area.

NOT Giving Gift Cards and NOT Going Into Debt

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Cherri Porter stresses over this newsletter,

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