Screaming Monkeys

I am a recovering “fixer.” I know, I should stop.

I want to help people. I want to relieve their troubles. It hurts me to see others hurting. This is especially true if it's a loved one or friend. (Maybe you are a fixer too.)

In many cases, "fixing" is just a desire, it's not necessarily a real possibility. There's a difference between lending a helping hand and "fixing." 

You’ve probably heard the phrase “he has a monkey on his back.” This typically refers to a worrisome problem someone is carrying around. (Those are the kinds of things I want to "fix.") Sometimes my son will add, “not my monkey, not my circus,” which for him means, “I’m not getting involved with that; it’s not my worry.” (He's a recovering fixer too.) 

We all face situations where our fate is out of our hands and where we see no way to change a situation. We've probably all had to deal with those back-hugging monkeys.

I imagine this worry as a gangly-armed, screaming monkey clinging to that person’s back. I see it as crying out for attention, being unruly. Maybe he is throwing bananas. Maybe hurling spitballs. The noise is deafening.

In those situations, the only way to deal with a screaming monkey may be through prayer. ("Fixing" probably isn't going to do the trick at that point.)

Although I don't like it, I long ago accepted the value of trouble. In my younger days, my family called upon me as a prayer warrior to pray through whatever strife (or screaming monkeys) they faced. 

Eventually, I saw how some of those monkeys were often the linchpin they needed to propel them to their highest and best. At one point, I stopped praying. I didn't want to play God. Who was I to decide which troubles were good and which were bad? (This was my thinking at the time.) Of course, I didn't give up prayer forever. 

If we can't fix them, what can we do with those monkeys on their backs?

I recently began using visualization for screaming monkeys.

First I have to recognize “this is not my monkey.” (Seriously, that can be the hardest part.) Second, I have to realize, "I can't fix this." Then  I visualize a hand picking up that screaming monkey and placing it into the hands of the God (or however you see the Divine). 

As soon as I do, that screaming, crying, unruly monkey calms down. It becomes peaceful. I tell myself, "it’s in God's hands now." I console myself by knowing that thing I cannot fix is now up to God. I don’t have to contrive a solution or jump in to fix something that doesn't need fixing. (I'm not perfect at this!)

Whose unruly, screaming monkeys are you trying to tame? Let go of those extra worries. They are not yours to carry. Turn those screaming monkeys over to God. Let him find the perfect solution.

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3 Things that Recently Inspired Me 

1. I've had fun making baseball cards using family photos and facts about my ancestors. (Spoiler alert: My next book will be Marvelous Messages from Your Ancestry.) I found the template for them on Etsy by designer Prudence Dwyer. She also offers several free genealogy templates on her website. I gave some of my ancestry baseball cards to my sons for Christmas. I thought it would be a fun way for them to learn about their ancestors. It takes time to gather all the necessary dates and perfect photos, but it definitely was worth the time spent.  

2. Since early in the pandemic, we have had boxed meals delivered. We started out with Dinnerly, moved to Martha Stewart's Marley Spoon, (both are owned by the same company), eventually settling in with Hello Fresh. While Hello Fresh is potentially double the cost of the other two, the reliability, fewer errors, and quality of food made it worth it for us. We love not having to think up something new for dinner every night and always can choose from a variety of dishes. Since I am a very picky eater, I like that we are creating meals from scratch and can choose to leave off a topping or spice (or add more, in my husband's case). If you want to make dinnertime more convenient, I highly recommend some type of meal delivery. 

3. I've been listening to Mike Oldfield music since the days of Tubular Bells. (If you're of a certain age, you'll remember that music was featured in a movie.) I'd recently pulled up my Oldfield playlist as I needed some deep contemplation time. His music opens the doors to that for me. Exploring his music online, I learned he came out with a new album, Ommadawn, in 2019. (I never seem to have enough music!) 

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