Another one of my clients remembers the words of his well-meaning mother: “Nobody likes someone who gives excuses."
His mom was trying to instill important values like responsibility and accountability, but like the last example, there were unintended consequences.
To avoid making excuses, my client fervently assumed responsibility for anything and everything that happened around him. If there was blame to be assigned—and even when there wasn’t—he was the first person to raise his hand.
When we started working together, he shared how ashamed he was that he’d been fired by a previous employer. He’d never been fired before, and he lived in fear of losing his job ever since.
I asked some questions about what had happened, so I could better understand and contextualize his experience. This is what I learned.