Episode 7

Who do you Envy?

“Just because you're better than me
Doesn't mean I'm lazy.
Just because you're going forwards
Doesn't mean I'm going backwards.”
— Billy Bragg

"We got everything
We need right here
And everything we need is enough."
—Jack Johnson

• Do you ever find it difficult to stop comparing your work to the other adventurers out there?
• Who do you envy?

Writing this piece, I first of all had to turn to the dictionary to clarify the nuances of a few words.
* Admiration: a feeling of wonder, pleasure, or approval.
* Envy: a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another's advantages, success, possessions, etc.
* Resentment: the feeling of displeasure or indignation at some act, remark, person, etc., regarded as causing injury or insult or having been treated unfairly.

Locked away safely in my shed I’m generally free from the politics, hierarchy and gossip that can generate resentment in working life. I confess I have not been immune to it in the past (though I’m mellower and less driven these days).

I have occasionally felt resentment to my fellow adventurers, authors or film-makers if I believed that they had some sort of unfair advantage over me or that I was more deserving than them. I have also occasionally resented agents’ fees and publishers’ percentages or quality of work. Not very noble! But resentment is mercifully fairly rare for me.

There is an important distinction between people I admire and those I envy. I look up to those who are better than me at what they do and feel only positive towards. They bring me joy, insight, ideas, and light the way for me to follow meekly (but contentedly) behind. They inspire me to aspire, improve or imitate.
Specific to my role as a ‘working adventurer’, here are some of the people I admire:
• Borge Ousland’s expeditions. Alex Honnold’s simple, focused, undistracted lifestyle: “I like climbing. Therefore I will do it a lot.”
• Kate Harris and Robert Macfarlane’s writing.
• Renan Ozturk’s film-making. [See Mountain for a gorgeous partnering of Ozturk and Macfarlane.]
• Sarah Outen’s commitment to doing one thing really well — one whopping expedition, then a labour of love to get the film of the trip just the way she wanted it.
• Ran Fiennes’ achievements and longevity.
• Jimmy Chin, Chris Burkard and Martin Hartley’s photography.
• Tim Ferriss’s success at earning a living from doing things he enjoys.
• Maria Popova’s well-read, brilliantly networked, thoughtful website.
• Seth Godin’s persistent creation of helpful, positive content.
• Paul Jarvis’s 'company of one' ethos (which partly inspired this email series you are reading.)
• Jocelyn Glei’s fantastic podcast guests.

Because I do not see the world of adventure as a zero-sum world I never really feel competitive against other people. If someone does an epic journey, writes a fabulous book, creates a glorious film, or gets rich from adventure then I hold my hands up and applaud. It doesn’t cross my mind to feel envy in these instances, and thankfully I am not lured by the temptation of excessive hyperbole to help me appear greater than my fellow adventurers. 

(A quick aside on being inspired by other people’s journeys: My favourite trips have typically been those that were fresh, simple ideas of my own. However cycling round the world was very much inspired by reading other people’s stories, piling them up together, standing on their shoulders and setting off to create my own version of their stories. So thank you Dervla, Josie, Tom, Tim et al.) 

Sometimes people’s achievements do make me feel like an imposter and a self-promoting braggart! At speaking events, for example, I hate going on stage to talk after someone who has done much cooler adventures than me!

Although I’m not really competitive with other adventurers (I’m not in the business of first, fastest, furthest etc. with the sort of stuff that I do), I am very personally competitive with myself. And I am not averse to looking for ways to make myself feel better than the rest.

For example, I wrote in My Midsummer Morning: "I take a perverse pleasure in persevering though purgatory when everyone else would jack it in and call a taxi. I sneered at anyone who took more comfortable expedition options and envied those who suffered more than me. I regarded obduracy as a point of difference to be proud of."

In the years when I was failing to get my expeditions sponsored I used to envy everyone who did secure sponsorship. I envied people who had prestigious or profitable partnerships with brands and used to dream of doing that myself. When I read books by other adventurers I certainly compare their writing with mine, asking myself whether I’m a ‘better’ writer than them, and whether my own adventures match up to theirs. I may also envy their sales figures or Amazon ranks if I deem their success unmerited. Fortunately I have not succumbed to the madness of one of my adventurer friends who went through a long phase of comparing my sales ranks to his every morning! 😂

Right now, I don’t particularly envy anyone in the adventure world. But I certainly have done in the past. This should not reflect badly on those concerned as they are all fine people and deserve their successes. But at times I have envied:
• Mark Beaumont for the fame he generated from his first trip round the world at a time when I was failing to find a publisher for the book about my own bike trip.
• Ben Saunders for his success in the professional speaking world, and in particular for his two TED talks.
• Ben Fogle for his near ubiquitous TV presence at a time when I was trying and failing to get a TV series about microadventures commissioned. 
• Lev Wood for rocketing to fame after his first big expedition travelling the length of the River Nile.

It is definitely worth pointing out what these four people all have in common: high standards, hard work, quality and original ideas. (After writing this post I sent it to those 4 guys as a courtesy. I was flabbergasted when one of them said that he actually envied me! I hope that sums up how daft us humans are for envying each other!)

At various times I have also felt envy at people who have won Travel Writing awards or had a film shown at the Kendal Mountain Film Festival. I’ve never managed either, but have dreamed of doing both. The sensible response to my annual disappointments should be that I have not managed either yet. Work harder! Get better! Don’t measure your personal success by a judging panel’s opinion! 

But my envious response can sometimes be along the lines of: it’s not fair! They’ve got better marketing people at their publisher! They’ve got ghostwriters / camera crews! The judges don’t like me! 

Writing all this makes me sound like a shrivelled, shrewish sourpuss. So I paused to counterpoint all the things I envy not having with all that I do have and am grateful for. That is a much more fruitful exercise. 

Short answer: I’m doing fine, I’m happy, I’m lucky. (Such reminders to be grateful are why I love the Dollar Street website and also occasionally check where I stand on the world’s rich list.) 

While I was writing this, @jamie_bd asked on Twitter which of admiration, envy or resentment might my younger self apply to my current self? I think it would be a mixture of all three. Admiration that I have done some things younger me was ambitious to do: a handful of interesting expeditions and books. Envy that I am given sponsored bikes and outdoor gear. And resentment that I get sponsored these things despite doing far less actual adventuring than I did 20 years ago!

Another aspect to the question of who I envy relates to the different ways that someone might be leading their life. I definitely envy people who are not restless and feel content, regardless of their walk of life! 

I envy those of you who are fulfilling your potential, are happy doing it, and are making the world a better place. 

I am also envious of you if you live in the mountains / by the sea / in a village with a great cafe / in a van / in California / the Pyrenees / Reykjavik etc. 🙂

Finally, we live in an era of social media magnifying and festering envy in all directions. I know well that chasing social media audiences or ‘Likes’ is to build a fool’s castle on foundations of sand. But, at the same time, building a decent-sized social media audience was vital to becoming a viable working adventurer. 

Therefore I have, at times, envied people with bigger online reaches than me.

There are several reasons why someone might have a bigger audience than me: bigger muscles or bigger boobs annoys me; bigger adventures or better stories inspire me; and lucky breaks like getting onto a podcast such as Tim Ferris or Joe Rogan I might envy (although well done to Ash for a successful hustle!) 

But what should I care more about: my position in the race, my time on the clock, or my time on the clock compared to my time on the clock last week? The answer I choose determines my levels of bubbling envy or  lasting contentment...

Another way to look at audience size is that there are only 'X' people in the world who are going to be interested in what I do. There’s no point me envying a footballer or a singer or a mainstream famous adventurer because these people are operating in different niches to me. All I can do is work hard to reach the audience of people who are going to be interested in what I do, and then be content with that number and grateful for it.

I never need much of an excuse to re-read (and re-share) the brilliant essay 1000 True Fans. Its premise is that if you can find 1000 ‘fans’ who enjoy and everything you do, then you have the potential for a viable little business. 

This is the very core principle of the way I have tried to carve out my life as a working adventurer. 

No envy required.