my wonderful sycophants!!!

How are we all this fine day?

Are we enjoying The Actions of Gods? Yeah you fuken are!!

I’m just going to start with the love. The main reason for this message.

(And most definitely not to bitch about my sudden fame on the East coast of Ireland!)

Seriously, I have the most amazing fans in the world. You guys are the absolute best! These last few weeks have been terrifying, but also wonderful. The messages and reviews have blown me away.

Thank you all so so much.

I am a superficial man, in need of constant reassuring. I live off your tears of frustrations for missed deadlines and your words of delight when you tell me how great I am. In other words, feed me your joy so I might be sated.

Well, I’ve been hungover all month, and drunk the rest of the time.

I never said I was good with stress, or with relief either. It’s a strange thing to walk hand in hand with such conflicting emotions about the same thing. So I stumble drunkenly.

Alas, I must sober out and look to the future. One might think it a colder future, without Spark City as my beacon in the night, but I look to an exciting future. A future where I’m no longer burdened with the pressure of landing the most awesome fantasy series in the world (because I fuken nailed that shit, rightly down.) A future where I will NEVER have to write another Spark City book ever again.

Never ever again.

Absolutely not.

I won’t write another.

Nope.

Fuk that.

Unless…

I need money.

I always need money.

Delicious, delicious money.

And reviews too.

All those lovely reviews make me want to write all manner of things.

New Spark City series someday?

Who knows??

I’m such a tease.

Speaking of teases.

I am still working on that secret project. I think you guys will lose your minds when you learn what it is. I hope in a good way.

HOWEVER.

Let me start by saying it is NOT a prequel to Spark City.

Yes, yes, I know, I know, many of you fuks been asking about a Faction Wars series for quite a while now. And look, as a fan, I would imagine it sounds like a very interesting thing altogether. I mean, lots of things did happen long before Erroh came along, but I’m tired guys. I’m so tired.

Then again, I would be lying if I said I hadn’t thought how much money something like that would make me. I might have to re-mortgage my house to pay for the amount of whiskey I drank this last month alone.

But despite this desire to drink nothing but Knappogue Castle whiskey, and despite my better protestations, selling out isn’t always the best thing to do, and were I to ever commit to a Spark Project as grand as that, it would probably be after I was further into the Dellerin series. It kills me to have had to put it to one side for the last few years.

Recently I’ve been receiving messages from fans who while waiting for The Actions of Gods to land, finally gave Dellerin a shot and were won over by its charm, and of course, my utter brilliance. Their enthusiasm has been wonderful. As has their demands for another Crimson book all of a sudden. So really, it's their fault too that I’m not writing a Spark City prequel anytime too.

Although, my secret project isn’t a Dellerin tale either.

Sorry.

But my secret project will be good.

I promise.

Unless it’s shit.

Which it could be.

Because I haven’t started any new project at all.

I’ve just been playing Sunken Lands.

Drinking Knappogue Castle from the bottle.

And this is probably a lie.

And what a wonderful lie it could have been.

Apart from reaching 20% of secret project, that is?

Ugh.

They did it.

They’ve been after me for years to do media. Something to get a little exposure, they claimed.

“One interview, put out the story of why you got into writing,” they said.

“I don’t want to do that,” I wittily replied.

“How bad could it be?” They reassured me.

“I don’t want to do that,” I copied and pasted.

“Just fucking do it!” they demanded.

“Wow, you even put the silent c in for that profanity,” I countered a few days later, knowing my fate was sealed.

“Just fuking do it!” they demanded, though without the c it didn’t scare me as much.

“Fuk you!” I proposed.

“NO, ROB. FUK YOU!!!”

I saw their point.

“I see your point. One fuken interview and I’m out,” I said, and then they said nice things that don’t belong here, because they are the fuken worst.

Speaking of the worst.

The interview WAS the worst. I hated every fuken moment of it, even though I’m a charming fuk, and the journalist was just a lovely person who made me very comfortable throughout the horrid ordeal. She was rather good at her job too, because reading back, she somehow managed to lasso some semi coherent words from my insane ramblings, into creating a wonderfully complimentary article about how freaking awesome I am.

And then the story got picked up by a bigger newspaper, and suddenly people were all telling me what a lovely guy I was, and how proud my dad would have been, and I just I wanted to be back in my cage working on my secret project that isn’t a Spark city prequel or any Dellerin tale involving Erin, the Seven, or the Crimson Hunters. But that was okay. It was done. I could hide away.

And then a fuken radio station got involved and I was like “COME ON!!!”

A few hours ago, I had to do a live interview that was both entertaining and traumatising, because that’s what most of my days are out of my cage. They tell me I was great in it. All smooth and hilarious and completely bonkers. Good listening apparently. The interviewer got way too much into how much more famous my cat is than me (I think he is a Taylor fan) and really, that was the highlight of the experience. So now, as I crawl back into my cage, turn on Lord of the Rings and get back writing, I have decided that I refuse to answer all phone calls, or emails for media right now.

FUK THAT SHIT!!!!!!!

I AM FUKEN DONE!!!!!!!!!

Unless the Late Late Show calls.

I’m in for that one.

So anyway, 

Keep reading, keep enjoying, keep fuken reviewing you legends.

Take care of yourselves, and each other.

the ROB aka Taylor’s owner.

(Named after a boxer. Not a singer.)