1. Listen and Ask Questions
Before you share any facts, help the person feel heard and show you understand their concern.
“I haven’t heard that before, where did you get that information? Can you tell me more about why this is important to you? Have you experienced this firsthand?”
2. Restate What They Said
People like to know that you understand them. Let them know by repeating what they shared.
"It sounds like you’re concerned about water contamination from the pigs and the health of your family”
3. Make a Connection
Shared values are three to five times more important to building
trust than focusing on one version of the facts. Find a connection, for
example, the health of your family, your love of hunting, land
stewardship, or protecting water quality.
“We share your goal of protecting the land for future generations.
We use the least amount of chemicals possible to control any pests.”
4. Acknowledge Them
Be sure that you acknowledge their concern.
“I agree keeping the keiki and kupuna safe is number one. I live here, too. We want to do everything we can to keep the land and water clean. I understand your concern.”
5. Suggest a Way to Work Together
Sometimes, your efforts to have a productive conversation might not work. You can still show you care about resolving the problem by seeking outside help.
“I still want to try and work through this. Would you be willing to try working with a mediator who might be able to help us have this conversation?”