Micro-Reframe #3

Replenishment: philosophy and practice

The philosophy of replenishment is actually super simple.

We fill. We empty. We refill again.

Our remit over time is to go out into the world intentionally filled up. For that to be our starting point.

Broken down into more granular parts:

replenishment is about recognising ourselves as dynamic beings not static or stagnant

It's about become cyclical rather than linear.

Replenishment's focus is on renewal instead of repair

It asks us to be proactive rather than reactive

Living within replenishment is to live from creativity mindset and instead of a victim mindset -- not one fuelled by drama.

Replenishment encourages imperfection, curiosity and experimentation.

And lastly, replenishment is about repetition and resilience rather than one-and-done solutions, despair and disappointment.

The idea is to move toward more fullness, incrementally over time, but right now, here in this moment, what each of us has and what we do with it, is what really matters.


Fullness and Emptiness

I offer fullness and emptiness as neutral concepts.

And also as *a* judgement free and shame free metric.

Full doesn’t mean good and empty bad. Full and empty correspond to your capacity. What’s in your tank on any given day.

I love the Facebook status from one of my dear friends and fellow coach Janette Dalgliesh: If your tanks are at 50% today and your productivity is at 50% - then you’re giving it 100%, and that’s absolutely perfect.

Expressed like that it helps to put what we have and what we give into a new kind of perspective. We can also see how we run quickly into deficits that lead to a kind of bankruptcy I'll talk about in a few days time when I introduce you to the allostatic budget.

But for now -- the fullness-emptiness spectrum gives us something to assess the impact people and activities have on us. Ones that fill us up and ones that drain us.

This can help in deciding what to say yes and no to. Or putting limitations around the amount of time we offer to people or activities which take more than they give.


A Rhythm

Fullness and emptiness are also linked to a rhythm.

I’d like you to consider what your rhythm is. Tidal. Lunar. Seasonal. Diurnal. Something else perhaps.

I invite to you to let that rhythm be a container to hold you AND partner with across the next four weeks.

To become a terrain to explore within and beyond yourself — physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and energetically.


New Stories

The last thing replenishment offers at this stage, is the chance to write a new story divorced from any of the toxicity of self-care.

I mentioned in an earlier reframe that I went from I am exhausted, to I am the low tide.

I didn’t want to deny the challenges I was facing, but I wanted to create a narrative that had movement in it. Something that also offered hope for change. I trusted in the fact that the tide always came back in. (It did eventually, but holy shit, it took time!)

The Granular

The nuts and bolts of replenishment come in five basic pieces, which we'll tease apart for the rest of our time together..

1. emergency triage.

2. renew and refill.

3. play dates and peak experiences.

4. therapy and depth work

5. self and others.

For now, I’d like you to consider what core narrative you’ve developed around self-care and how it makes you feel. Then consider a new narrative you’d like to try. Something that honours where you are now and also where you’d like to go.


Questions for now (or later)

1. What story have you told yourself about where you are in your body/life? (How does it make you feel when you think about it?)

2. What new story would you like to cultivate with replenishment? (And how do you want it to feel?)

3. What rhythm are you interested in exploring?


Emergency Triage

Hack #3 — Humming

Humming is a simple, gentle and readily available nervous system regulator.

The vibration in the throat stimulates the vagus nerve and helps to activate the parasympathetic nervous system (our rest and digest state).

It’s one of the go-to vagus nerve tools Resmaa Menakem suggests in his book My Grandmother’s Hands: radicalised trauma and the mending of our bodies and hearts.