The kids were out of school on Monday for Fall Break, which meant I stayed home with them. Before we set off on our usual outings, there was a small group video call scheduled for my entrepreneur mastermind. This is a bunch of women from around the country who convene to learn from the talented Hilary Rushford and each other. It means a lot to me to be a part of it.
I knew that participating in the call with the kids around was risky, but I really wanted to be there. Spoiler alert: They busted into the room repeatedly throughout the hour, distracting me and likely the other women; and worse, while I was introducing myself, a random speeding motorcycle sound effect went off on my laptop, and I didn't know how to stop it (you can't make this stuff up).
I felt embarrassed to be what I felt was the weakest link in the group, the one who didn't have her sh*t together. Why was I even here? What did I possibly have to contribute? I could feel the beginnings of a shame and self-loathing spiral, which made me want to duck out of the call and crawl back in bed. But I decided to stay, continuing to show up in all of my imperfect glory, and wrote about it on Instagram later.
I used to worry that if I posted about my deepest fears and vulnerabilities, it would bring people down, and worse, they'd think less of me. But I've seen too much evidence to the contrary. When I'm completely honest and raw, people respond every time a variation on: "I needed to hear this today. Thank you." This is fuel for my soul, because helping other people frame and make meaning of their experiences is what I'm meant to do on this earth.
Elizabeth Gilbert writes about how being open with each other reveals our shared humanity: "I think that the more honest I am about my journey, the more connected I feel to everybody and their journeys. The more I reveal that seems really vulnerable and really private, the less private it becomes, because all I hear is a chorus of voices saying, 'me too, me too.'"
I'm grateful to be part of our human family alongside you, all of us beautifully imperfect and growing every day. ❤️