How are my wonderful sycophants?

Did you know Outcasts is about to be released?

IT IS ALMOST DONE AND THERE IS EVERY CHANCE IT DOESN’T SUCK!!!!

There has been an alarming lack of threatening emails about the time it takes me to write books these last few weeks. Very disappointing. Your love and desperation fuel my writing engine. Well, that’s the last time I bother to hit my deadlines. I mean, what’s the point if people are patient? What’s the point if I’m not doing a George RR Martin (all hail) or a Patrick Rothfuss (all adore.) 

Where is my abuse????

I went for a walk earlier. Saw a bear sleeping. He looked so content. Even in this blazing heat. I got a stick. Nice and pointy like. I poked the fuk out of him. And his cubs. Fuk you bear.

Also, here’s a link for Goodreads to place in your TBR pile. I don’t know, why. They just write these notes for me and tell me to be funny. 

It's too fuken hot to be funny. I live in a country which never has sunshine. Only delicious rain. Aw, rain. I love rain. I miss rain. I wish it was raining now. I also wish I lived in a house with air conditioning. I wasn’t ready for this heat. I never am. Usually we only get heat for a few hours in early June in between scatterings of rain. But the last week its been torture. What the fuk is this burning sphere in the sky that torments me? You will be my new cruel god and I will call you…Dave. Fuk you, Dave. What I’d give for an impromptu snowball fight right now.

IRISH HOUSES ARE BUILT TO TRAP ALL THE HEAT IN!!!!!!!!!!

NOBODY TOLD THE BUILDERS DECADES AGO THAT THIS MONTH WOULD HAPPEN!!!!

Right, I’m also supposed to ask you to whitelist this email. Otherwise you run the risk of losing my hilarious email updates to the vile pits of the spam folder, thanks to a pending Apple update. I think the only thing 2021 needs is a little more Robert J Power ramblings to put us all over the edge.

I think that’s it. 

I am in an Emir’s amount of wretchedness right now. 

Melting beneath this unnatural heatwave.

I could be sitting under the stairs, getting intimate with a bag of ice, but instead I’m at a computer in the blazing heat and all I want is an Iceberger. Why did I think that? Why did I even write it? Icebergers are smashing ice creams. I’d eat two in a row, I would. I’m fuken crazy like that.

The Outcasts is coming,

I’m fuken awesome.

I’m too damn hot too.

I’m out of here.

Take care guys.

Rob.

Aka Zim Zam.

I want an iceberger.