Getting your extended family on board with your child’s healthy eating plan can be difficult and demoralising. Relatives such as grandparents may have the best of intentions, but they could actually be contributing to complex health issues because of your child's food reactions and certain sensitivities.
I'm sure most of you have experienced a family member sneaking a forbidden food as a 'sweet treat' only to have to deal with the health and behavioural problems later. So how do you get everyone to take dietary and lifestyle changes as seriously as you do?
TALK IT OVER
If your child regularly spends time with a relative who ‘pushes’ unsuitable food on them, it’s time for a chat. This is best done privately, and delicately. Explain the problem clearly and let the family member or friend know it is in the best interest of the child to stick to the foods that are safe for them.
Be sure to ask them why they feel they need to give your child certain foods against your wishes as finding out the motivation behind their actions is key to changing behaviour. A lot of times the relative is unaware that nutritional science has moved on and changed from when their own children were young. To help them stay on track, you could offer a written list of what is allowed or even say you'll provide lunches and snacks if shopping for or preparing unfamiliar foods is a problem for them.
If they feel sneaking ‘treats’ is a way of spoiling and demonstrating their love for a child, give them alternative ideas of ways to do this – such as reading or playing a game together, watching a film, going for a special outing or writing a cute note for their lunchbox.
BRING IN THE EXPERTS
Giving relatives the latest researched articles, books or even asking them to accompany you to your child's next nutritional therapy appointment could give you the authority you need to back up your argument. Remember that grandparents may still see you as the 'child' and that they still 'know best'! Outside experts are harder to argue with.
PRE-EMPTIVE STRIKE
Ensuring that your child has a healthy meal before the relative arrives is another way to head off the problem. Supplying recipes that your child loves and they can prepare together is also a great way to get your family to see that healthy eating can be fun and fulfilling.
WHEN TO INVOLVE YOUR CHILD
While children are young, it’s best to keep them out of discussions between adults. If they sense conflict and tension it can affect how they come to view food and mealtimes in the long term. However, as they get older you might want to prepare them for when they find themselves in an awkward situation.
Play through possible scenarios they might encounter – and equip them with some go-to phrases that will help them handle the situation without offending anyone – such as ‘It looks delicious, but it’s too close to dinner. May I take some for later?’ No child should feel that eating (or not) causes emotional distress.
STAND FIRM
Just remember, your child is your responsibility – no one else’s. Stand firm! You know you are doing what is the best for your child’s health. As a last resort, you may need to limit the time your child spends with this person until he/she agrees to follow your guidelines.
The above tips were taken from the original blog post "Is your child's healthy eating being sabotaged"?
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