How many times have you looked at other relationships and wondered, "Why can't my relationship be like theirs?"
Most of us have done the relationship comparison game, and it sucks. Am I right? I've been guilty of it, so I get it! I wrote a blog article about it, too! Check it out HERE!
With social media being the #1 way we tend to escape from reality, we end up being bombarded with UNrealistic ideals and images. On the surface, I know that we all *know* it's mostly BS (if not all BS?). Yet, somehow, there's a small part of us that questions whether it truly is a standard we should be striving for.
Same goes with sex life comparison. Due to the fact that we are only seeing highlight reels on social media (and often those aren't even real either), we find ourselves wondering why our sex life can't be spontaneous and filled with passion just like "everyone else's" (insert sarcasm).
Would it make you feel better if I told you that my sex life was heavily impacted over the past year due to the pandemic? Yup! A Sex Coach had a VERY low sex drive over the past year! You know why? Because, I'm human. I also speak candidly about it in episode 12 on my podcast.
Our sex drive is heavily dependent on context - especially responsive desire folks. If you don't know what responsive desire is, check out the FREE sex drive webinarwhere I dive right into it! If you have friends that are struggling with this as well, feel free to send them the link!
Bottom line is, there is no "normal" relationship. We're all a little messy (or a lot), we have sex lives that are all over the place, and we sometimes doubt whether we're going to make it together. It's a part of being human, and why I stress communication as much as I do.
Focus on YOUR relationship. Reflect on what's going on in the four walls where your relationship lives. When we start to ONLY look on the outside, it's human nature to want what's "out there". Take inventory of what's working, and what's not. Put the effort in to change what isn't working, and celebrate what is. Never stop learning about each other. We change all the time. Ask questions, and try to stay interested in your partner as an individual, and not just how they can serve you in a relationship.
And remember...keep talking.
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WARNING: NSFW (adult content)
If you enjoy unfiltered, raw, and candid conversations about taboo topics, you will LOVE the RTWN podcast!