Micro-Reframe #2

Tale of Two Words

There are three things I want you to know about words.

The first is words are bigger on the inside — they are literary zip files.

The second is words are the smallest unit of magic

And the last is: words matter

And this is why.

A single word — like a seed — births a different story, a different world and a self. It is the simplest point of transformation. And that’s why I say, words are the smallest unit of magic.

The fastest way to hack an old story (especially an “I am … story) is to change the word at the end.

For me, I changed the phrase “I am exhausted” to “I am low tide”. It was the start of a profound healing and my permanent break up with self-care.

Words also matter because of the multitude of stories each contains.

Ones we inherit from our family, from friends, our workplaces, the culture, society, the isms and ologies we live within.

We also store our own stories, our experience, inside words.

So let’s dive into the tale of two words: care and replenish.

The Mirriam-Webster dictionary states: care implies oppression of the mind weighed down by responsibility or disquieted by apprehension.

Just from this short definition you can see how the word “care” is loaded.

And why the term self-care is problematic. Why you’ve spend years subconsciously rejecting it because you don’t want to identify with any part of it.

The stories inside the word care are associated with frailty, vulnerability and marginalisation. it is about illness, limitation, disempowerment and brokenness.

On 2022 live call I asked what people associated the word care with.

They replied grind, emergency, vulnerability, looking after others, burden,

They said the word felt: draining, taxing, heavy, that it took effort

As humans, we are all about protection.

We are never going consciously or unconsciously embrace a word internally full of those stories. We will do everything to protection ourselves from it.

And for the most part — we have.

The term self-care is associated with overwhelm, chronic stress and exhaustion.

It's paradox. Subconsciously this is what we side with when we choose the words self-care. This is the story we live. When outwardly we are trying to do the opposite.

This is why we reject self-care. Not because we don’t want to prioritise ourselves and our needs. Instead we don’t want to partner with a word entangled with oppression, weightiness, responsibility, apprehension and disquiet.

Change a word, change a story, change a life.

This is where replenishment comes in and why it is so powerful.

Replenishment doesn’t come with the stories that care does. It’s a brand new player in the arena.

Replenish simply means to fill something up again.

It is dynamic. Non-linear. And has all the space within it to be imperfect. For trial and error. For experimentation.

For us to be messy humans.

It’s a brand new story, and you get to write it on your own terms. With your own experiences to inform it's future shape.

Best of all, replenish doesn't come from a place of lack.

On the 2022 live call, people spoke of replenishment in regards to filling up, water, nourishment, new life.

It felt light and inspiring.

The first time I mentioned it to a friend, she said it about seven times in the first five minutes. She told me how much she loved the sound of it. How it felt in her mouth.

How self-replenishment was vastly different to self-care.

I originally spoke about self-replenishment and now I just talk about replenishment.

First we get a handle on how to fill, empty and refill ourselves. Then from that we get to apply the same principles to our families, our friendships, our workplaces, neighbourhoods and communities.

When we are able to go into the world from a place of fullness, or overflowing, anything is possible.

We are possible.

And at this pointy edge of humanity's story ... change is possible.


Questions for now (or later)

1. What words do you associate care with? (And how does it make you feel?)
2. What words do you associate replenishment with? (And how does it make you feel?)


Emergency Triage

Hack #2 — What Can I Hear

This can be done anywhere. (Doing it in the same place over time can be very interesting though.)

Set a timer for one minute. (Over time you can set it for longer periods of time).

Stop and tune in to what you can hear.

You can mentally make a note of it. Or write it down.

This is a potent way to slow yourself down and bring yourself into presence.