Yesterday was July 4th—the day we Americans celebrate our independence.

I believe independence is to be celebrated on the 4^th and all the other days of the year. It’s always been an important value to me, deeply encoded in my wiring.

When I was in the fifth grade, a teacher told me not to spend time with my then-best friend who was—shall I say—a bit more advanced than me in the ways of the world. 

Miss P. warned my friend would be a bad influence. I remember being confused. Why would she think I would be influenced? 

I was an independent thinker at ten. Regardless of what friends and peers were up to, I made my own decisions.

Knowing from such a young age who I was helped inform my decision-making as I grew into adulthood. 

Here are two examples.

First, as a professional I watched many of my colleagues raise their hands for high-profile projects they saw as the path to promotions and big bonuses. I opted instead for the stuff outside of the limelight. 

The less glamorous assignments didn’t have big budgets or attention from senior leaders, but they offered something more important to me: autonomy and ownership.

Second, for much of my career I worked in an organizational culture that valued career development and promoted job movement as a way to achieve it. Employees were encouraged to seek new roles as soon as 18-24 months after landing in their jobs. That was especially true in one of the positions I held: chief of staff to a senior executive.

I had different ideas about career development: completing my Master of Social Work (MSW) degree and becoming a psychotherapist. Because my chief of staff job offered the flexibility I needed to accomplish my goals, I resisted the pressure to move on and stayed for eight years.

While I made some intentional choices, I manifested independence in my career without even trying.

I never had a boss that micro-managed me. My supervisors didn’t question what time I arrived or left for the day. Over a decade before Covid-19 ushered in flexible work arrangements, my manager agreed to adjust my work hours to accommodate a required internship for my MSW program.

This is the power of knowing who you are, and what’s important to you. It’s built-in GPS signaling to you and others what route is best.

But there's a cost.

I feel fortunate that having a true sense of myself came naturally to me. As a young person I didn't know how rare a gift it was, but I do now which is why I'm committed to helping my clients find—or rediscover—themselves.

Like the country where I was born, I made some sacrifices in service to gaining and maintaining my independence, and the trade-offs were well worth it.

What are the ideals and values most important to you? 

What do you need to reconsider to prioritize them?

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