I've been thinking lately about the illusionary mindsets that we adopt.
One of them is the happy-if mindset.
We tell ourselves that we'll be...
- Happy if I get a new job.
- Happy if I drive a new car.
- Happy if I get in shape.
Sadly, once we get these things. We realize that happiness doesn't become a permanent resident. It flees even before we've fully unpacked the new item.
But in addition to happy-if, I am daily recognizing another form of delusional self-talk. I call it better-when.
It kind of looks like this:
- I'll be better at my job when I get this new laptop.
- I'll be better looking when I purchase this new piece of clothing.
- I'll be a better parent when I read this book about anger management.
Recently, a friend of mine told me that he is considering buying a new, expensive tablet. He convinced himself that this new machine will make him a better designer.
Strangely, he didn't need an expensive tablet to already do good designs. For the past 2 years, he has been regularly praised by his boss. "What happened?" was my first thought. What, he suddenly woke up and decided that, "No, something else is required for me to become better. And this something is external."
Instead of refining his skills with what he got. He was outsourcing the improvement of his skills to an item.
Well, it's all because... and here is the kicker... it's easier.
It's easier to buy something and think that it will improve your performance than to actually work on improving your performance.
I've been a prisoner of this mindset a lot in the past. Heck, even to this date.
But every time I give in to that kind of thinking. I remind myself that it's never the thing that will make my skills/life better. It's always me.
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