At the height of the pandemic, we locked down so hard that I missed saying goodbye to my mother, missed my niece’s wedding, and missed a big college reunion. Yet here I am in France, on holiday, in the midst of a record-breaking heatwave. Does it feel weird to be out in the world? Yes—it feels strange and extravagant and random. Is it fun? Also yes. Is it disorienting to watch Top Gun in English with French subtitles? Completely.
And does being away from home make it feel like the pandemic is over? Everybody acts like it here. In crowded places, we are the only ones with masks. And the longer we stay in France without getting sick, the more distant the pandemic seems. Not that it really is distant, or over. My son’s family in New York City just finished round three of COVID.
There is no doubt we are living through a weird time. My daughter said, “We are at a point in this pandemic where no one should be too judgmental about other people’s choices.” Although she may be right, I have a tough time putting aside my negative opinions of people doing things just a bit riskier than what I do now. Yet after two-plus years, this stage of the pandemic is like playing hooky the last week of school: You may still get in trouble, but really, who can blame you? (If you haven’t yet eaten at an indoor restaurant, I bet you’re itching to do it.)
And since I mentioned Top Gun (a fun movie I saw in a nearly-empty theater, in search of elusive French air conditioning), I must tell you about the reaction to something I shared on social media. The actress Kelly McGillis, when asked why she was not cast in Top Gun Maverick, reportedly said this:
“I’m old, and I’m fat, and I look age-appropriate for what my age is (62). And that is not what that whole scene is about. To me, I’d much rather feel absolutely in my skin and who I am at my age as opposed to placing a value on all that other stuff.”
Notice what this is: A powerful statement by a Woman of a Certain Age about her agency and her choices. Notice what it’s not: Any kind of wish to be in the sequel. Women who read this post on my platform knew it was not about the movie. But several males on Goodreads missed the point and commented as if this actress had an obligation to fit into their story. They could have cleaned her up and put her in the movie, one said: a Procrustean response to a woman who dared to claim her body.
That response was a mini-prequel to the horrific Supreme Court decision in Dobbs this week. Many women have written eloquently about the obscenity of a few privileged people taking away the rights of millions of women. Opportunistic fundraising on the back of this decision by male politicians who did nothing to stop it, is sickening. There are also echoes of slaveholding in depriving women of limited means of their physical autonomy. And Clarence Thomas's concurring opinion holds the threat of encroachment into the lives of lesbians and other queer folk.
It is strange to be so far away while the initial reaction unfolds, to see pictures of friends at protests for something that has zero effect on the French women around me. Yet elections held in France during our trip have multiplied the number of representatives of the far right party by a factor of eight. The weird times we are living through are about far more than the virus.
After Dobbs’ initial shock will come the action plan: The most effective ways to push back on the assault on women’s freedom. I may be missing the first round of protests, but I look forward to talking and writing and doing what needs to be done. As they (almost) say in France:
Liberté, Égalité, Sororité.
Au revoir for now,
|