I think it’s about time to reveal some marvelous news!!!!!

But not yet.

Because they who command my emails, told me to make my announcement right at the top of this email before I go rambling about anything else. I’m feeling like a chaos merchant this miserably warm spring morning, so I think I will completely ignore their better judgement for as long as I can. It probably won’t be long. But long enough that they’ll be rightly irritated. Long enough that they’ll begin a rough draft or re-cutting my email to suit their better business minded needs.

*Editor’s note- anyone else reading this get a sinking feeling it’s going to be one of those nonsensical emails where he pretends to reveal something and just ends up teasing nothing? If he’s going to insist on wasting my time, I insist on commenting on his shenanigans. Let’s see how he likes having his time wasted? Let’s see if next month’s email shows up on time?*

You see dear sycophants, I’ve written this email in such a way that it is rather difficult to reedit my words coherently. I’m very hopeful they’ll just get frustrated and move on.

Like I said, chaos merchant.

First up in my chaos tour is a Dave question. A completely legitimate Dave question as well. A deliciously legitimate question from a very real fan who happens to be called David.

So, perfectly legitimate “Dave” asks,

“Dear awesome Mister Power, as a loyal Spark City fan who has bought all the Spark City books and reviewed them… why ever should I care about any other book series that you have? I of course am referring to THAT ever so less popular series. The unfinished series that I’ve no interest in buying and reviewing at these sites… until they are completed, or at least look like they are close to being completed… and won’t drag on for ten years. The one with Dragons and Magic and shit.”

*Editor’s note- I am well aware he’s messing the readers and me around again, but I do believe he’s actually trying to push some sales so I’ll leave him to it for now, but I am watching.*

Well Dave, what a fantastic question, and perfectly timed with the grand reveal to come a little later in this email. The series you so eloquently are referring to is “The Dellerin Tales.” I have in fact two books in the series (I have a strong feeling all of that is about to change). These masterpieces consist of the ever so moody and darker The Seven, and the fun and frantic The Crimson Hunters.

Does that help you, dear Dave?

Should I go on?

I think I’ll go on.

These two masterpieces are part of an expanded world. Without saying too much, these two masterpieces are interlinked and part of a rightly spit 'n polished tale that will all come together in the end.

*Editor’s note- I still am not sure what Robert is on about, though I believe he’s on point… but really, who gives a shit? There I said it. We were all thinking it. It’s Friday and the sun is out and me and my better half are having a barbecue later with a few friends and this asshole writer is slowing down my day. You see, I forgot to get hot dog buns and I wanted to nip out early and pick them up. But that’s typical of the week I’m having. I’ve a dreadful feeling I’m going to be stuck in here all day touching up this crap.*

So, to answer your actual question, dear Dave, as to why should you care about said series?

Well, you should care about the Dellerin series because if everyone who bought the Spark City series went and bought the Dellerin series, I would have double the money in my pocket.

Does that make sense?

Is that reason enough, Dave?

Also, I should add that there aren’t any Dragons in the series.

If you bought the books you would know this.

And magic?

Well, you have me there. There is magic in those books. But it’s a rather unique magic system. Some might say it isn’t even typical magic (and they would probably be wrong). It's more loosely based on quantum mechanics that I absolutely have zero understanding of (but it makes me sound rightly smart). So I just throw ideas around until it nearly makes sense. Like most quantum physicists do. According to the internet, that’s what they do, so it must be true.

I hope this helps Dave.

*Editors note- I don’t think it helped anyone, Robert. I mean, what the fu*k did I just read? Why the fu*k did I just read it? I’m so fu*king done with this fu*king job. I’m so fu*king done with Rob’s lazy ass emails where he can’t just follow a few simple instructions, push the sales, and we can all just clock off at a reasonable hour without this fu*king bullshit coming in.*

But wait, dear sycophants… out of nowhere, another question needed to be answered. And this one from Dave’s lovely wife… Davina.

*Editor’s note- this crap, right here. It’s not even funny. You aren’t funny Robert. Davina? That’s just stupid. You probably had a point, but as per fu*king usual, you went rambling and lost the run of it. I hate editing these emails. I fu*king hate them.*

So, Davina asks…

“Just like my husband, Dave, I also don’t like swords and sorcery bullshit. I adore your fantastic spark City books because they focus on characters and love, and loss, and tragedy and redemption and nobility, and most certainly not fuken dragons. I don’t want dragons in my book mister Power. Someone told me you put Dragons in Dellerin. Why did you put Dragons in Dellerin?”

*Editor’s note- he’s pushing the dragon joke again. It wasn’t funny before and he’s obviously attempting to use dragons as some weak ass callback so he sounds really witty. I hate this guy. I really hate this guy.*

What a fantastic question Davina. Thank you for asking it. I’ll say it again. There are no Dragons in these books, just big monsters. Like that game Monster Hunter World. I haven’t played it, but it's exactly like that. Except with deep characters and love, and loss, and tragedy and redemption and nobility, and most certainly not fuken dragons.

*Editor’s note – I can’t believe this is only page 3. Fu*k me.*

Ah, dearest, devoted, Davina. I imagine you are reading these words with a sceptical grimace, so let me put it this way. The Dellerin books are similar in a way to Spark City, you just need to open that wallet to buy them to find out.

*Editor’s note- well that’s just a fu*king lie. They aren’t at all alike. I don’t even like the Spark series. Not enough dragons. See? I can make that stupid joke too.*

And I believe you will enjoy them Davina. Personally, they are an absolute blast to write, and really, I think that comes out in the writing itself. Especially with the Crimson Hunters collection….

*Editor’s note- it’s taken this hack over a thousand words to get the words “Hey everyone, there’s a new Crimson Hunters sequel in the works.” He’s such a fu*king hack and he can’t write battle sequences or women.*

Friends and comrades, it is with great pride that I announce…

The Crimson Hunters 2

Judgement Day

(working title)

As of now, I’m about 75% through this book and as I said before, I’m having a blast writing it. I feel I’m ten times the greater writer than I was when I first donned the armour. Yes, yes, I know I am a god of the literary world, but I still consider myself a novice of a writer. Someone who hasn’t yet reached their zenith. I like to think I’m constantly improving.

*Editor’s note- Maybe start with your emails di*khead.*

I’m constantly trying new things, constantly trying to outdo myself. I’ve felt like this since attempting to land Actions of Gods. I did a lot of growing up finishing that monster. I’d like to think with Raven Rock, I continued to reach for the sky. Today, I feel I’m better skilled to tell the story of the legends of the Crimson than when I first went to print. Like an old friend, I’ve fallen into this world and am ready to blow some of you away with what I have planned. (Those of you of course who have finished and reviewed all Spark books and looking for a quick fix to ease the shakes in between rereads.)

*Editor’s note- certainly wasn’t me. I was paid to read them and I didn’t bother. This email is bullshit. He’s bullshit. It’s half three in the afternoon. I’m so done. I need a drink. And a hot dog.*

So yeah, that’s it dear sycophants, I will have some more juicy information to share on such an “unexpected” announcement, but that will be over the coming months. That is, until launch day, and I can see that launch day you know. Just need to dig in a little deeper for a little time.

*Editor’s note- Oh look, he’s not done.*

Ah, fuk it, I thought I was done. I was all ready to add one more stupid dragon joke and then I caught sight of the note written at the bottom of the page.

*Editor’s note- Dragon joke? Hahafu*kingha, Robert.*

It is with great misery that I announce that to coincide with the announcement, some genius in head office decided to put both Dellerin books on offer.

*Editor’s note- Wasn’t me. I don’t think about this assho*e except on new email day. I certainly have little interest in helping him shift more units.*

Besides, once you are hooked, you will simply buy the sequel on launch day at an exorbitant price. And the final book in the series soon after that, because you will need to know the fates of the idiot Derian, the suave Natteo, the illusive Seren, the hulking Lorgan, the legend Kesta, the bewildered secret character, and of course the completely unprepared Erin.

Some of you keen eyed guys will see what I did there.

*Editor’s note- I didn’t. I don’t care either. I’m just hitting send here soon. It’s a quarter to 4 and we still have a page to go.*

Anyway, this email has been a wonderful advertisement for Dellerin. To avoid such similar advertisements in the future, simply click here and buy The Seven and The Crimson Hunters.

And you can review each one here and join my ever growing army.

*Editor’s note- I really wouldn’t.*

Right, what else has been going on?

Nothing at all.

I had a genuine Dave question but I can’t find it anywhere.

Wait, here it is.

It’s not from a person called Dave, but I’ll call them Dave.

“Would you consider setting up a patreon so I can show my appreciation?”

What a wonderful question. I love money. And patreon means more money. Double money.

*Editor’s note- no it doesn’t.*

Truthfully though, I have no interest in setting up a patreon. As of now, I’m somewhat in the enviable position where I make enough money that I can avoid facing the working market or needing a helping hand.

*Editor’s note- Or having to deal with juvenile assho*e authors who think they are a fu*k load funnier than they actually are.*

Don’t get me wrong, if someone wants to donate a million quid my way, purely because it’s burning a hole in their pocket, I’m in. I eagerly await your personal correspondence. But really, if you ever took a moment to buy any of my books or spoke openly to eager ears of your enjoyment of said books, you have earned your favour you fuken legend.

If you have downloaded any of my books for free off dodgy sites, well, I bear you no ill will at all (the world is kind of tough at the moment and money is tight with us all… however… if you want to be cooler about it, leave a fuken review you cheap bastard and we’ll call it even… for now).

*Editor’s note - He’s so not cool about that at all. It’s all an act. I’ve been in meetings with him where he’s been raging and cursing off people who downloaded his “art” and demanding we find a way to hunt their accounts down and charge them. He’s such a prat.*

I think what I’m trying to say is, to the wonderful Dave’s of this world who have messaged me offering me “a token” to show their appreciation, I say, no thank you, you legend. You have done enough being a fan. Go take that cash and buy yourself a cofe. Or a really nice hat. You have my absent god blessing.

Right, I think that’s it.

*Editor’s note- thank fu*k.*

I have some major working to do, so I can miss my next deadline by only a dozen chapters or so.

Take care of yourselves, and each other.

The ROB

*Editor’s note – he stole that sign off from Jerry Springer. Fu*k Robert, or the ROB or whatever. I’m out of here, wine and hot dog await. *

*Editor’s note – It actually turned out we had hot dog buns in the back of the freezer so that’s something at least.*