View in browser
Monthly Newsletter
Connection

Just a note before getting started. If in Gmail you would like to see our email updates in your primary inbox, please drag this email from the "Promotions" tab, to the "Primary tab". You will then see our emails there from now on.

CONNECTION

June 2020 is all about connection.

The research is solid in that people who have healthy social connections live longer. In this time of social distancing and flattening the curve, finding ways to connect to each other is even more important. 


What is connection?


What does it mean to be really connected? To yourself? To your people? To your community?

Well read on my friends because I have a few ideas!

First Connect to Yourself

Being connected to who you truly are, your values, knowing your likes and dislikes, and recognizing what gives you energy and what drains your energy is key to being able to connect to others. I've said it many many times before but if you haven't heard me here it is...YOU FIRST.

When you connect to yourself and feel centered and grounded the connections you make with others are more genuine. When you show up as you and you are not striving to be who you think they want you to be those interactions are energy giving. It is real connection! And real connection is what we all need right now more than ever!

So spend some time this month connecting to yourself. Try breaking it down.

1. Connect with your physical self. Make a list of the things that make you feel healthy and strong (even if you aren't doing them right now). Make a list of the things you think might make you feel grounded and centered and energized. Try one or two of these new things to see how it works for you. Pay attention to how your body feels after certain activities. Like how good it feels to stretch in the morning!

Adequate sleep and time alone are critical for me to feel good in my body. When I don't get enough of either I have trouble with focus and memory, I feel overwhelmed by the smallest requests and I have zero tolerance for changeYou can imagine how fun I am to be around.

2. Connect with your emotional self. Before you do another thing today

Stop.

Close your eyes.

Take four.....deep.....slow.....connected....breaths.

And check in to see how you feel.

For one day (or one week if you really want to take it next level) regularly check in with your sweet self. Set a timer to go off every hour and when you hear the alarm check in with how you're feeling. No judgment, just pure acknowledgment of what is, in that moment. See how it feels to connect with your emotional self regularly throughout the day. What do you notice?

    It can be as simple as that. Taking a few pauses during the day to check in and see how you are actually feeling.

    Right now when I am checking in I notice I feel stressed. I want to share helpful information and I have my kids constantly interrupting me which is making it take longer to get my thoughts together. Pause, acknowledge and move on Dyan.

    3. Connect to your higher self. Higher Self, Spirit, Soul, Intuition, Divine spark, Human essence, gut instinct - whatever you choose to call it - there is a wisdom that we miss out on when we don't slow down and connect to ourselves.

    Connecting with your higher self is not something you do, it's something you allow. It is just BEING...not DOING. The key is to make space and allow it to...be.

    Humans are chronic doers. We spend most of our time thinking, acting, feeling, analyzing, preparing, reflecting, etc. We are rarely just present with what is. When we can consciously stop and take a few moments to just be present, a whole other world -- the part of us that is wise and allowing and intuitive and clear -- emerges.

    Give yourself the gift of allowing your higher self, your beingness, some time and space today. Try spending 2 minutes of just doing nothing. How about 10 minutes? An hour? 


    4. Connect to what brings you joy.
    Write down all the things big and little that bring you joy. Is there something on your list that you can do today? Puppies are always on my list! Which means I watch a lot of puppy videos.

    Connecting to Our People

    This month I encourage you to explore connecting to your people. The ones in your lives everyday or often enough that we have many opportunities to connect with them. Now of course this is trickier in pandemic times. So we need to get a bit more creative.

    Four questions to ask yourself before connecting with one of your people.

    1. Who are they?

    They are more than just a child, a partner, your son, your sister, your mother.

    They are a human being just traveling along this journey of life and doing the best they can.

    When you pause to truly see them in that way, it makes connection way easier.

    2. What are they here for?

    They are not here to make things difficult for you. They are not here to make things easier for you.

    They are here to grow, to learn, to be who they are now and develop into who they will become.

    That's it, that's all.

    Connect to that first and be a witness to human development.

    3. What do they need?

    We all have basic human needs that need to be met. So when trying to connect ask yourself what is it that they need.

    4. How can I help?

    Sometimes you know how to help and sometimes you don't. But asking the question "How can I help?" opens the door to connection.

    Active Listening

    Often we think that we are connecting to others by talking. But what if we walked along side someone, giving their thoughts and ideas room to breathe for a bit before offering our own thoughts and ideas? l can so relate to  this clip on active listening. My kids would probably tell you 7 times out of 10 I'm just like the mom in the clip.

    Connecting Eye to Eye and Heart to Heart

    Eye to eye

    Some say the eyes are the window to the soul and I completely agree. When someone looks deeply into my eyes, with compassion or concern, I feel seen and safe and cared for. Give this gift to others. Often!!

    Today, make eye contact. See if you can make a point to make eye contact with your people at least 10 times today. And while you're there, beam as much love and joy and delight through your eyes as you possibly can. Dr. Jody Carrington calls this the "light up". They will feel it. It will nourish them, deeply. And it will nourish you too.

    Heart to heart Recently, researchers have discovered that the heart is far more than just an organ that pumps blood. The field of neurocardiology is providing us with evidence that the heart has its own neurological system and is constantly communicating with the brain in our heads.

    What if we listened to our heart brain more than our head brain? What if we connected with the people we care about, especially children, with our hearts first and foremost? What if...

    Listen with your heart, listen to their heart, be present and connected to your own heart as you spend time with them. Be curious to know what their heart feels and does and says and thinks.

    And what if your people aren't up for this kind of connecting today?  No problem. Let it be and try again later.

    Also get curious to know what works for them. Every human is different! Many people find eye contact too intense. Some people love a good back rub, others don't. Listen with an open heart to connect in ways that fit your people.

    Explore different ways of connecting.

    And let it all be.

    Connecting to our Communities and our World

    Now this is especially tricky right now. In pre-pandemic times, connecting outside our homes was easier. Join a group! Attend a church! Volunteer! Seek social connection through activities like singing, dancing, cooking and knitting together. Endless possibilities.

    But now connecting in person by gathering together in our communities is not recommended. So what can we do?

    Building a community where we feel a deep sense of belonging requires a real and honest understanding of ourselves first. Ah back to that old song and dance! We can use this time apart to connect to ourselves and what makes us feel a sense of belonging to each of our communities.

    Also we can give to our communities through random acts of kindness. In a world that is hurting as much as ours is right now more kindness is needed by all.

    Research shows that when we do acts of kindness for others chemicals are released in our bodies that calm our brains and nervous systems. When we are giving to someone or something that we know and care about, the part of the brain responsible for survival (the amygdala) begins to quiet down. We actually feel calmer. Giving to others also stimulates the vagus nerve which roves through the body, networking the brain with the stomach and digestive tract, the lungs, heart, spleen, intestines, liver and kidneys and is important for our nervous system's rest and digest state.

    If you are looking for community or questioning the communities you are currently belong to ask yourself this question posed by Kathy Coffey in her TedXTalk:

    Where am I my best self made better by what you brought out in me? Wow that's a question I can sit with for days!

    And remember we all belong to the human race (no matter how divided it may look right now) and there are some fundamental truths about being human.

    We need connection.

    We are biologically wired to be in relationships.

    Connection is essential to our well-being throughout life.

    So connect this June. With yourself, your people and your communities (in the safest ways possible please!)

    If you are feeling alone remember:

    You are not alone in this.


    We are all struggling in one way or another.

    We are all in this together.

    I hope something here resonates with you. If you know someone who needs to hear this right now please share.  I would love to hear your thoughts on connection especially in Covid-19 times. Send me an email at dyan@shiftintowellness.ca or find me on Facebook here.

    Stay connected and stay well my friends!

    Shift into Wellness

    Tree Lined St, Prairie Town
    Saskatchewan, Canada

    facebook

    You received this email because you signed up on our website for our monthly newsletter. Not what you thought you were signing up for? Unsubscribe below!

    Unsubscribe