Connecting to Our People
This month I encourage you to explore connecting to your people. The ones in your lives everyday or often enough that we have many opportunities to connect with them. Now of course this is trickier in pandemic times. So we need to get a bit more creative.
Four questions to ask yourself before connecting with one of your people.
1. Who are they?
They are more than just a child, a partner, your son, your sister, your mother.
They are a human being just traveling along this journey of life and doing the best they can.
When you pause to truly see them in that way, it makes connection way easier.
2. What are they here for?
They are not here to make things difficult for you. They are not here to make things easier for you.
They are here to grow, to learn, to be who they are now and develop into who they will become.
That's it, that's all.
Connect to that first and be a witness to human development.
3. What do they need?
We all have basic human needs that need to be met. So when trying to connect ask yourself what is it that they need.
4. How can I help?
Sometimes you know how to help and sometimes you don't. But asking the question "How can I help?" opens the door to connection.
Often we think that we are connecting to others by talking. But what if we walked along side someone, giving their thoughts and ideas room to breathe for a bit before offering our own thoughts and ideas? l can so relate to this clip on active listening. My kids would probably tell you 7 times out of 10 I'm just like the mom in the clip.
Connecting Eye to Eye and Heart to Heart
Eye to eye
Some say the eyes are the window to the soul and I completely agree. When someone looks deeply into my eyes, with compassion or concern, I feel seen and safe and cared for. Give this gift to others. Often!!
Today, make eye contact. See if you can make a point to make eye contact with your people at least 10 times today. And while you're there, beam as much love and joy and delight through your eyes as you possibly can. Dr. Jody Carrington calls this the "light up". They will feel it. It will nourish them, deeply. And it will nourish you too.
Heart to heart Recently, researchers have discovered that the heart is far more than just an organ that pumps blood. The field of neurocardiology is providing us with evidence that the heart has its own neurological system and is constantly communicating with the brain in our heads.
What if we listened to our heart brain more than our head brain? What if we connected with the people we care about, especially children, with our hearts first and foremost? What if...
Listen with your heart, listen to their heart, be present and connected to your own heart as you spend time with them. Be curious to know what their heart feels and does and says and thinks.
And what if your people aren't up for this kind of connecting today? No problem. Let it be and try again later.
Also get curious to know what works for them. Every human is different! Many people find eye contact too intense. Some people love a good back rub, others don't. Listen with an open heart to connect in ways that fit your people.
Explore different ways of connecting.
And let it all be.