End The Pointless Questions

Stay Positive
Even During Negative Times

I’ve written and spoken for decades about why it’s important to stay positive. Positivity is good for your health. Positivity lowers stress levels. It increases happiness. It prompts good relationships. The list goes on. However, sometimes, despite our best efforts, bad things happen that prompt us to dwell in negativity.

Is it possible to stay positive during negative times? The answer is yes!

Harold Kushner in his book, “When Bad Things Happen to Good People,” writes that things happen to us for no good reason that prompts us to accept them willingly.

However, we can give experiences—even tragedies—meaning; we can impose meaning on them. Therefore, the question that we should be asking is NOT, “Why did this happen to me?” or “What did I do to deserve this?” These are really unanswerable and pointless questions.

A better question would be, “Now that this has happened, what am I going to do about it?”

The Importance of this Question

The question focuses on the future. It prompts us to reflect on choices we can make and actions we can take. And it is hopeful because it puts the responsibility on us, rather than on the event. With this question, anything can change because the question empowers and reduces any type of victimhood thinking.

As an aside, you have probably noticed that I refer to the three practices of positivity, choice, and reflection often. My goal is NOT to be redundant; rather, I have learned that repetition is the mother of learning. Their frequent mention is to prompt you to reflect and be reminded to use them. Implementing these three practices (skills) is critical if you want to reduce your stress, become more effective, and improve your relationships.

Tip: Accept the fact that bad things will sometimes happen. But rather than dwell on them, always ask, “Now that this has happened, what am I going to do about it?” By doing so, you’ll find that your focus shifts immediately so you can stay positive to weather any storm.

For more information regarding living your life without stress, visit WithoutStress.com.

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Dr. Marvin Marshall

PO Box 11
Los Alamitos, CA 90720

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