Our brains, on a neurological level, are wired for meaning. The brain is constantly gathering, processing and interpreting information around us.
If there is a gap in that information, our brain does the only thing it can do in the absence of an explanation. It creates one.
Have you ever been waiting on an important text reply from someone, news on a job interview or felt like a colleague was off with you and suddenly, created 101 reasons to explain what's happening?
Thats your brain and its actually trying to protect you from the unknown.
The problem is that we tend to believe what we think and when our brain decides that the only plausible reason why things have gone wrong is because of us, we go with it. Wrongly.
You see now, I realise loving the boy Harry is is so much more important than knowing why he was born with Goldenhar.
I do acknowledge that its 99% unlikely that Harrys syndrome was because of me but Im not going to lie, sometimes my brain lingers around that 1%.
I'm not sure it will ever leave me but I do know that the only thing I did on purpose was love my boy and that makes me the mum he deserves.
Our time and energy is precious.
Have a think today about where you are using it most and how that is serving you. This is your permission slip to forgive yourself for something that was never really your fault, and to show your child that they, like you, are perfect in their own way.
With love from Our Altered Life to yours, Charlie xx