Hey there 👋🏼  the warmest welcome to you. It’s good to connect with you here. I hope this comes with nice timing for you. Are you doing ok? Finding ways to be gentle and kind and soft with yourself? I so wish and hope that you are. I’m just back from a break from work and I felt moved to share rest-related thoughts and reflections with you. Welcome. 

In the first 6 months of 2020, I didn’t have a single prolonged period of rest. One day my therapist gently suggested I might be stressed/approaching burn out/just really tired. She invited me to schedule a break. It started something for me...

I’m just back from what felt like my most nourishing week off to date. It was just a week, but it felt so much longer. A few times I thought: “so THIS is what really switching off feels like.” It’s taken 2ish years to disconnect so deeply and I’ve no idea if I’ll manage it again!

Since that session in 2020, I’ve taken a week or more away from my therapy work about every second month. I’ve become a huge advocate for the power of resting. Who knew?! And whilst I’ve found it easy-ish to schedule the breaks, I’ve found it less easy to actually rest when I have them.

So I’ve been gently observing myself in these breaks. Noticing just how hard I find it to actually do “nothing”. How it takes me a few days to settle into a different pace. I tend to fully enjoy it for a day if I’m lucky, then feel distracted with thoughts about going back to ‘normal’ again for the rest of the time. So to switch off so well last week felt like a huge milestone!

I've historically been a ‘doing’ person. I’ve generally been someone who is busy. I talk a lot. Do a lot. Think a lot. I love being super engaged and active…

…and those initial conversations with my therapist about my difficultly with taking breaks have led to some deeper exploration about my relationship (or lack thereof) to stress.

For a very long time - like until 2020 long - I didn’t recognise the possibility that I might experience stress. That *maybe* the being busy all the time wasn’t always serving me well. I had been in a process of learning to connect to myself and my inner world more fully (still am). I'd long been in a pattern of not noticing my own discomfort, and this was another part of that. 

A voice just entered my head telling me it’s too dramatic to say this, but giving myself permission to be finding things a lot, to be overstimulated by how much I’m doing, to be stressed, has changed my life, my health and my ability to work well. I'm so much better for it and in more ways than one.

S l o w i n g   d o w n

Recognising my exhaustion, my tiredness, my fatigue has led me to build regular ‘off’ time into my life. It’s starting to feel very normal to be off work. It was so foreign before. I look forward to it but the lovely thing is, I no longer feel so desperate for it. I’m learning though that this isn’t because I don’t need the regular breaks, it’s because I have the regular breaks. I’m slowly becoming ok with the idea that I don’t need to justify resting. That I don’t have to be aching for time off to make it ok to take. 

And we're all facing external pressures around this stuff too.  “Strength” still being connected to powering on, “weakness” still being associated with stopping. These messages so easily become engrained into what we think we believe is right. It may take a lifetime, a long time, to let them go. 

…When I came back from that first break in 2020, I told my therapist how luxurious it felt. How much of a treat my time off had been. That it felt like a real gift. I don’t remember her exact response but it was another of her gentle invites, this time to consider that “rest isn't a luxury, it’s essential.” Ooof. 

What am I hoping for you as I share this? I can’t really hope anything specific for you because I don’t have any way of knowing what parts of this will resonate and land for you and why. But here are the things I’m pondering and keeping with me as I come to the end of sharing with you today: 

• Gratitude that regular breaks are available to me if I choose them. I’m deeply aware that this is a privilege.
• My ongoing realisation that whilst being busy can be my happy place, it can also be my unhappy place.
• And that being busy was what felt safe and comfortable to me for a long time. Slowing down felt too threatening and uncertain, that’s why it was so hard.
• That I invite you to keep in mind, if it feels at all needed, that my experience of this has taken so much time, reflection and exploration and has not been easy. It's also very much ongoing.
• Thoughts about how we can carry the “rest is essential” mantra with us - I’m wondering how this could look for you?
• And a reminder that rest can be woven into our everydays. It doesn’t have to be literal breaks. We can’t all do that. Small pockets are sometimes even more - or equally - important and valuable. Do you want to create any? Can you?

I’ll leave you with a such a gentle invitation to bring your relationship to rest and your relationship to caring for yourself into your awareness. You could notice where some tiny, small steps could be taken, if that feels needed and welcome. 

And lastly, when is your next opportunity to rest? Can you see it? Is it even there? May you find a way to take it or create it, if you feel the need and if you can.

Warmth and gentleness coming your way -

Elsie