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I’ve been thinking a lot about gender lately. (Maybe because this week’s
podcast is a conversation with two other parents of transgender kids.)
How we unintentionally force kids into blue or pink. Dance class or
soccer. Or as it was for me—home ec. or shop (loved shop).
None of this is biological. It’s cultural.
At the same time, I’ve been keeping up with the news and noticing myself
growing increasingly impatient.
With the hims.
It was irrational. But I was annoyed by a contractor slow to respond. Short
with coworkers, ignoring my suggestions. Shut down when an explanation was given
for something I already knew.
Again.
And it wasn’t all of them—but the ones I didn’t know very well. (Easier to “other”
I guess.)
Last weekend, I carried all this angst with me to a yoga retreat—along with
a suitcase of overpriced leggings and several snack-size bags of Aldi trail
mix—and what did I find?
(Cue Alanis Morissette singing “Isn’t it ironic?” in the background.)
Hims—in noticeably larger amounts than is typically found at a yoga center.
And sadly, I wasn’t yet Zen enough to think—wow, maybe something is going on
that so many are here.
Instead, I immediately thought of my favorite quote by Pema Chödrön:
“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.”
And learn I did. They shared. They listened. They felt. They asked to be
seen—not for what they look like or what society expects, but for who they are
inside. And they said that sometimes, they feel discriminated against too.
It made me think of our transgender kids—who just want to be seen for who
they really are. Not labeled. Not judged.
Or discriminated against.
We all want that.
On the tri-state drive home, a song from my 1970s childhood kept looping in
my head:
Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me...
I’d been looking outward—blaming construction workers, politicians, the
steamy weather—for the ills of the world when I have agency in this.
Peace is an inside job. (Comforting as the news cycle can spin me
into helplessness.)
Sharon Salzberg says, “Do the good in front of you, no matter how small.”
So I’m adding a song lyric to my daily walking and swimming mantra practice.
Let there be peace on earth, and (please may I have the grace to) let it
begin with me.
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