This summer I got new glasses.
It was the first time I got glasses as an adult.
Previously, I believed that wearing corrective lens would weaken my eyesight.
I liked being over 40 and evading glasses, as if I could cheat mortality and aging in general.
Yes, this was all quite silly. Now I am a convert. I enjoy wearing my new glasses because they make the world sharper and more distinct. It's a novelty to have a new lens on the world.
But I wasn't really wearing my new glasses very often. Weeks might go by and they sat in their little box or on my kitchen shelf.
I realized recently I was so afraid of wearing them because I feared I might damage them -- and they were so precious to me. If I gave myself the pleasure of wearing my new glasses they might get ruined and then what would I do? I also have a habit of losing rings and sunglasses so part of me feared if I wore my glasses I would lose them.
There was a moment last week when I asked myself, Why am I not giving myself this pleasure of wearing my new glasses? Why am I tiring myself out? I was straining to see.
Why is it so hard to allow ourselves pleasure? Why choose to suffer?
Over the last ten years, I have taken many workshops and read many books, studying the uses of pleasure in our lives for our health, energy, and confidence. I've felt the benefits of pleasure running through my body and how that pleasure helps my mood, my confidence, and creativity.
I've seen the effect of taking time for pleasure on my clients too. I am talking about simple everyday pleasures like rubbing coconut oil on your body after a shower or doing an "awareness walk" without your phone in tow.
Yet we often resist pleasure--and all kinds of good, delicious things.
What is that all about?
Are we hardwired by capitalism and patriarchy to work without ceasing? Have we forgotten that rest will renew us? Do we not think we deserve wonderful things?
So this is all to say: I'm getting over it. I'm enjoying wearing my new glasses more and making them an everyday part of my life.
Goshdarnit if I need to get my glasses adjusted at the store or heaven forbid buy new ones because they get lost or damaged, I will.
So what will pleasurable experience will you give yourself this week?