March 21, 2023

Dear Reader,

The M.P.L. began exactly one year ago today. Whether you have been here from the beginning or are just joining us now, you are appreciated. Thank you.

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about unearned love. 

I did an event last month in Winston-Salem, NC with the wonderful booksellers at Bookmarks.

On the drive across the Tar Heel State, I stopped at a gas station. The restroom was occupied, so I waited. When the person inside finally came out, he stormed by me without making eye contact. Just as I was about to enter, the man turned around and said, "I was going to let it slide, but I can't."

I braced myself, expecting the worst. I scanned my memory, searching for any possible reason why I might be having this interaction. Had I inadvertently offended this man as he passed me? Had I accidentally cut him off on the road miles ago? Had we somehow met before?

"I used up the last of the bathroom tissue," he admitted. "I can't leave you hanging. I'll go ask the manager for some more. Hold up."

When I told him I wouldn't actually be needing any toilet paper, he said, "Well then, for the next guy. We can't leave anyone hanging."

When I got to Winston-Salem, I checked into my hotel and then went out to scout the venue where I would be reading that night. I always do a trial walk to events, just to make sure I know where I'll be going and will have enough time. A concrete mental visual of where I'll be speaking can also alleviate anxiety.

It was less than a ten-minute walk to an art center, which I admired before heading back to the hotel.

"Were you looking for the hair-braiding exhibit?" a woman in a parked car yelled.

I pointed to my chest and lifted my eyebrows, which is when she waved me over.

She was in the middle of a phone conversation, so she told the person on the other end of the call to wait a second. Then she told this bald man why the hair-braiding exhibit at the art center was so important, listing many facts and interesting details, highlighting the cultural significances, before telling me I had to see it. She spoke with the enthusiasm of someone who genuinely wanted to share something she found beautiful, simply because she thought it would light me up too.

"I'm actually doing an event there tonight and now I'm really looking forward to checking out the exhibit," I said.

She asked about the event and I told her I was participating in a reading, along with two dozen other writers.

"Well then, I'm going to pray for you," she said. "I'll pray that you have a blessed reading."

I'm often mystified when—for no reason at all—strangers are this nice to me. It really changes my brain chemistry for the better. Somewhere along the road of life, I learned to expect the worst from unknown situations and I'm really trying to work on that. Lately, I've been collecting empirical evidence to prove that the world is not quite as bad as my nervous system would often like me to believe. It's a slow battle, but I'm trying to trend in the right direction.

An old friend contacted me recently. She was one of the early SILVER LININGS believers who had advised / cheerleaded me through the agent-submission process. Over the past sixteen years, the bad part of my brain has searched for an ulterior motive that would explain why she was so kind and generous to me back then, but it hasn't been able to find one.

We lost touch long ago, so I was surprised to find an email from her congratulating me on my latest novel.

We traded a few catching-up missives and then she wrote this to me:  "I’m here to convince you to keep your child’s believing heart at all costs as long as you can and not confuse giving that up with growing up."

I've been meditating on those words ever since.

Here's an interview that I've listened to a couple of times, thinking I would do well to embrace some of my own advice. MenLiving: If You've Come This Far. The hosts, Chris and Shaun, were also kind and generous. I've logged them into the empirical evidence file, the one that helps to keep my child's heart believing.

The love of my life is publishing another novel soon. If you've been enjoying the M.P.L. and would like to support me, you can do that while reading a beautiful and exciting cozy mystery called MURDER ON MUSTANG BEACH. It's the second book in the Edgar-Award-nominated Outer Banks Bookshop Mystery Series. Help keep the dream alive. Pre-order today.

Okay, friends.

Until the 21st of April 2023, please remember that wherever you are in the world, whatever your current battle may be, your man in Coastal NC is sending you good vibes. Always.

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MATTHEW

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