How good copywriting formulas can trick you into writing bad copy

(If you're reading the "ultra-short tips" series for the first time, these are the tips I send out every second week to give you a break from the in-depth stuff)

Last week, I published a monster post on reasons why your website isn't converting.

This week, I can imagine, we're both exhausted. I, from writing, and you, from reading it (and, hopefully, implementing its advice).

So, let's talk about simpler things today, namely:

  • How good copywriting formulas can trick you into writing bad copy (+ real-life example)
  • Why you shouldn't put testimonial(s) right after your website header on your homepage
  • Why you should change your default "featured products" section.

Shall we?

Tip #1: How good copywriting formulas can trick you into writing bad copy

5 formulas for a perfect blog post title. 15 copywriting formulas to create great copy in seconds.

How not to love all those fill-the-blanks ready-to-use life-simplifiers?

Don't get me wrong. I'm all for using formulas and templates. Most of them are based on years of research and experience, and they do help.

But (let's face it, we both knew there will be a "but")...

...a formula is just a tool, and, just like a hammer you're supposed to use on iron nails and not fingers, you need to know how to use it for it to be helpful.

Real-life example: Good formula. Not so good copy.

Two weeks ago, Annie from hushyourmind.com asked me a question about her homepage tagline, which at that time was:

"Mindfulness coaching for perfectionists"

I told her that I'm not sure this tagline works.

But she told me that to create this tagline, she followed a formula from one of my articles. The formula was:

{What} for {whom}

What: Mindfulness coaching.

For whom: For perfectionists.

Well, you can't argue with that.

So, why do I think this tagline still doesn't work, even if it follows my own advice?

Because it relies on the fact that perfectionists know that "mindfulness coaching" is a thing and have a desire for it, which is probably not the case.

Unless you can imagine a perfectionist lying sleepless at night thinking, "Man, I need mindfulness coaching!"

So much for the formula, huh.

How to do it better

In this case, after I shared my thoughts with Anni, she was able to improve her own tagline herself, which now reads:

"Let go of perfectionism for more confidence + joy"

...and uses a different tagline formula:

{Do what} to {get what benefit}

And that's a great tagline, because this is exactly what self-defined perfectionists want - to finally stop obsessing about being perfect and become more confident and happy.

Here are some more examples of good formulas generating bad copy:

How copywriting formulas can backfire

What can we learn from this?

Fundamentals always trump templates.

Annie's first tagline violated a "the benefits you mention need to be real" principle (here's how you distinguish benefit a fake and a real benefit, by the way).

So, when you use a formula, make sure you don't violate the fundamentals (in this case, fundamentals of good copy: Clarity, relevance, value, specificity, real benefits, etc.)

Tip #2:  Why you shouldn’t put testimonials right after your value proposition on your homepage

...and why I do it anyway.

I know some of you have testimonials right after your homepage header, and something tells me you got this wonderful idea looking at my homepage.

I also know that not everyone's done it right, because it's not as simple as it may seem.

How so?

Putting  a testimonial right after your value proposition on your homepage is not a design decision. It's an important copy decision that can backfire.

Here's why.

Before you tell your prospects anything else, you must tell them what you do. Not just in general, but specifically.

Are you a B2B copywriter?

Awesome! What’s your specialty (web copy, ads, etc.) and industry?

You help websites convert better?

Swell! Are you a SEO consultant or a copywriter?

The way you communicate this info is up to you.

  • An ultra-specific tagline.
  • A tagline + a paragraph of explanatory text.
  • Or even a song (if you add subtitles and a video transcript).

Anything goes. But you have to convey this info first.

Which means you can put a testimonial right after your value proposition ONLY IF:

✔️ Your VP offers specific details on your offer and clarifies what you do *exactly* (then, you can put whatever testimonial you like after it)

OR

✔️ The testimonial that follows your VP fills out the blanks - says the same things you would be saying yourself if you had no testimonial.

Why do I have a testimonial right after the VP on my homepage?

On my homepage, it’s the latter. My value proposition:

“Turn Your Underperforming Website into a Lead-Generating Machine”

…doesn’t tell you how I help you achieve this.

I could be just a copywriter. Or a conversion expert who does A/B testing. Or an SEO-er.

So, the testimonial that follows prominently mentions my website reviews and tells people what it is that I do. If it was some generic "Gill improved my website but I won't tell you how she did it" testimonial, I won't be putting it there.

Bottom line: Want to have a testimonial right after your VP? Make sure that the combined copy of your VP + your first testimonial tells your prospects specificallywhat it is that you do.

Tip #3: Why you should change your default "featured products" section

So, featured products on your homepage.

Finally, a website no-brainer! You've probably just dropped the default "featured products" widget there and called it a day.

Would you look at these perfectly equal columns with a products' picture, price and "add to cart" button!

What can possibly be wrong with that?

🤔 Quick question.

Why should your prospects click "add to cart" if they don't know anything about that product yet?

Also, if none of the 3 featured products appeal to them, should they just move on?

Here's how to do it better.

  • Add a sentence with a product description after its title that says what it is & what its main characteristics / benefits are.
  • Remove individual "add to cart" buttons. Instead, make the pic, title, description & price clickable, leading the the corresponding product page. Your prospects know that if they want more info, they should click on one of these.
  • Add "View all products" button below the "featured products" section so that your prospects can easily navigate to your Shop page to discover more products.
  • Mark the items on sale clearly with a drop of contrasting color on the image (a strike-through on the old price doesn't stand out enough).
Pro tip:  If it's not obvious, add a sentence saying where you ship, especially if you ship worldwide. Because it's one of the most important questions on your prospects' mind, and if you tell them you ship to their destination, they can cross it off their mental list and devote their mental energy to your beautiful goods.
How to improve the default "featured products" section
Gill Andrews

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This would be all from me for the week.

Almost-spring greetings from Germany,

Gill

P.S. This email may contain typos, and I'm fine with them because cloning humans is, unfortunately, still impossible. Spending more time proofreading my emails would mean I'll have to share fewer tips with you. And sharing more and better tips is more important to me than sharing tips that are grammatically perfect. I hope that's fine with you, too.

Gill Andrews