Hi, beautiful.
Today is my birthday! I am 43 years old. (The pictures above are of me at age 10 or so, and of me this month.)
Getting older, my dad says, is better than the alternative. Most years on my birthday, I do a version of a Buddhist maraṇasati, or death-awareness, meditation during which I meditate on the inevitability of my own death. When I let myself connect to the knowledge that I won't be around forever, it often alchemizes sadness and attachment into deep gratitude for the life that I have right now.
These days, though, it doesn't feel like enough to acknowledge my own mortality. We are in a time of profound uncertainty and many of us can see the edges of despair. We are trying to juggle children, careers, homes, and hearts while bearing witness to heartaches both personal and global.
Aging can be a spiritual practice, as it forces us to confront what we are trying to avoid. I am trying to figure out how living fully in times of despair can serve the same purpose. I am trying to learn not to look away, but to hold the harshness gently; to let the light shine only as far as it shines, without wishing for more illumination.
But you know what?
I am legitimately, truly grateful to be alive today, to have seen another birthday. And I am so glad you are alive, too!
Here are 5 things that I hope you might find valuable this week. May you move gently down your path. ⏬
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