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The end is near.

I don't mean to sound apocalyptic by any means, but let's be real, we're all going to let out a collective sigh the moment 2021 chimes in. 

As the end of the year approaches, we're emotionally high. We're frustrated, hopeful, excited, scared. Everyone else around us is probably feeling the same. 

This is why we all need a little boost. 

A little over a year ago, as I packed my bags, sold the house, the cars, and everything in between, I realized that I was doing something totally against the core of my being. 

I was making decisions without a plan

Sure, I was going back to school to get another degree, but that was the extent of my plan. I didn’t know what I’d do with the degree (are those even valuable these days?!). I didn’t know whether I’d stay in the Netherlands or move back to the States. I didn’t know what my living situation would be. I honestly left everything up in the air. 

For an INFJ, that’s mortifying, to say the least. MORTIFYING.

But then, somewhere in between, I read the words “How wild it was to let it be” in Cheryl Strayed’s book wild, and the sky lit up. I knew I had to tattoo that somewhere on my body. Not only as a way to commemorate that for the first time in my life I was going with the flow but to always remind myself that life is best lived when you simply let go.

Let go of those expectations you have of the world.

Let go of trying so hard to fit in.

Let go of this path you’re on if it doesn’t suit you.

And think about how wild it is to just let things be. As they are. As they aren’t. 

It is absolutely freeing once you start repeating that sentence over and over. It’s really wild indeed. How many of us can truly say that we let things be? That we’re relinquishing control over to the universe, hoping that it returns to us what we seek the most?

That sentence kept me going every time a useless fictional worry popped up. My need to control everything has subsided significantly this past year and I have Cheryl to thank for it.

But then, something happened. I exchanged those words for new ones. And these new words allowed me to grow in ways I didn’t think I could. As a mom, as a wife, as a professional.

"I can do hard things"

Courtesy of Glennon Doyle in her book “Untamed”. Such unpoetic words. Almost classless if you think about it. But they pack a punch when said under the right circumstances. And I say them a lot lately. When my newborn is crying and my toddler is overtired, I tell myself “I can do hard things”. When my husband leaves for a work dinner, and I’m left alone with these two, I tell myself “I can do hard things”. When I look up technical statistical language so that I can write my thesis after three months of maternity leave, I tell myself “I can do hard things”. Right before I traveled 16 hours back to Florida with two kids,  I told myself “I can do hard things”.

So now I’m thinking, these are the words I need to tattoo somewhere on my body. Because they sure as hell are getting me through the days.

Remembering to say these things is where it gets tricky because when you're in a difficult moment, it's hard to remember anything.

But there's tremendous energy in these words, especially when used appropriately. 

So let me tell you when to use what.

(A while back I wrote about the concept of everything is figureoutable, so I'm going to bring it back now).

3 Sayings to get you through a difficult moment

- If you’re about to do something you’ve never done before and you don’t know if you can do it, you say "everything is figureoutable".

- If you're in the heat of doing something and it’s fucking hard, you say "I can do hard things".

- If you find that life is just hard, and you can’t figure it out, you say "how wild it is to let things be".

And things will feel better. 

I hope you take these 3 things along with you in 2021, and in this last month of 2020, especially if things haven't been positive lately in your life. 

You got this.

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