4. Hey y'all
It’s been a busy couple of weeks for me. When I have a lot going on I’m almost vibrating with...I don’t know what to call it. It’s a little bit stress and a little bit scattered energy and a little bit who-knows-what.
When I get like this I have a lot of imaginary angry conversations with people I don’t usually think about or talk to. My dreams are nuttier than usual. My coffee intake goes up. I create gigantic to-do lists on my way home from work, eat a bowl of cereal in front of my computer, and then crash hard without touching the list.
Does any of this sound familiar?
I’m now coming down off my busy high, but since I’m traveling next week and I’m pre-anxious about all that entails, it’s more like my vibrations are just shifting to new things. I logically understand that the traveling will go fine and whatever doesn’t work out will still work out. A missed flight can be picked up; we can stay in a hotel if there is bad weather preventing my mother from getting us at the airport; the dogs, although likely to be stressed about us away, will probably survive. And yet, I’m still finding it hard to let go of the worry.
I try all my usual mediation tricks, but I can’t force myself into a state of relaxation. That sounds like a big “duh” when I put it like that, but really, isn’t that what all of our technology and techniques surrounding meditation are: ways the conscious brain tries to force the unconscious brain into action? It’s illogical.
I just listened to the Hurry Slowly interview with Rubin Naiman, who defines a lot of what I’m describing above as hyperarousal. His research suggests this is not good for us, not at all. The increase in inflammatory health conditions could well be related to this new state of human consciousness.
Naimam suggests that “The antidote to hyperarousal is humility. The word humility is derived from the term humus, which of course is earth. So there’s something about coming down. The body submits, if you will, to gravity.” Humility is something I’ve been grappling with—like what does it look like on a daily basis and how does it feel—but this gives me new ideas to chew on. Humility brings us down, to the earth, off the high, from the unreality of anxiety.
As you can see, I'm a mess. Oh well, off to tackle a few more things on the to-do list.
See you on the internets,
Cherri
|
