As your friends on Instagram, every brand you’ve ever shopped at, and the barrage of hearts everywhere would have reminded you — it’s Valentine’s week! A week to fall in love, think about love, celebrate love, and also for some of us #singlefolk, to pine for love. But what if the Big Love of Our Lives is not romance, but friendship?
That’s what Rhaina Cohen argues in an essay in The Atlantic controversially titled “What If Friendship, Not Marriage, Was at the Center of Life?” She speaks to people for whom their friendship is not at the periphery of their relationships, but the fulcrum of their intimacy. And most of these people happen to be women. Female friendships, and the kind of intimacy they offer, open up possibilities of a new kind of intimacy. One which is not the silver or the bronze medal to the gold prize of being a soulmate. She writes of the impossibility of our expectations of a romantic partner who is our #everything and says, “Many of those who place a friendship at the center of their life find that their most significant relationship is incomprehensible to others. But these friendships can be models for how we as a society might expand our conceptions of intimacy and care.”
When I read this article, I nodded along in fierce agreement, and then forwarded the article to all my girlfriends. I don’t know about you, but my #girlgang is instrumental in how I function on a day-to-day basis. They are my go-to for advice, wise cracks, and genuine tips on how to deal with an existential crisis. When I think of unconditional love, more often than not, I am thinking of my girlfriends, and not SRK in “Mohabbatein.” (The violins are great, though.)
Turns out there is a psychological reason behind why female friendships feel like a warm hug. A 2011 study in published Oncology Today showed that having a #sisterhood or a strong social support improved outcomes for patients diagnosed with early breast cancer! Just talk to the women in your life, or look at all the times you have felt invincible after having a heart-to-heart with your girlfriend and you’d know — female friendships can be life affirming.
So, this Valentine’s week, why not celebrate the women in your life? Have you heard of Galentine’s Day? A fictional holiday first featured in the sitcom “Parks and Recreation,” Galentine’s Day is slowly becoming popular in real-life. Celebrated on 13th February and an ode to girlfriends who make our lives better, Galentine’s Day parties (or socially-distanced gatherings) are catching on! As Megan Garber explains in an essay charting the history of this holiday, the premise of Galentine’s Day is simple. It insists “that women are awesome, and that a good way of acknowledging that might be to meet up with one’s fellow women and remind them of that fact.”
In 2021, while partying it up with our girlfriends might be out of the question (Um, pandemic, anyone?), showering them with love, in whichever way you think best, is definitely on the table. I am thinking of Zoom hangouts, maybe sending each other our favourite foods, and some wine. But mostly, just thanking the Gods above for the gift of female dosti.
After all, what is love if not a little gratitude?
Love,
Maanvi Editorial Lead
Vitamin Stree
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