Do you make New Years’ resolutions? I gave up doing that a few years ago — basically, the year when I realised that a regular yoga routine was just not going to happen. But I have always been fascinated by the idea of a New Years’ resolution. A fresh start, a chance to do things you’ve always wanted to, and a brand new year to do them in. It’s tempting, no? Even more so as we come to an end to 2020. So much has gone wrong this year, that this chance to make it right is making even a cynic like me feel excited about making a New Years’ resolution for 2021. But are such resolutions a good idea?
Some psychologists are saying “nope!” According to Dr. Sophie Lazarus, a psychologist at the Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center, the last thing we need to do in a rough year is to put more pressure on ourselves. Especially because it doesn’t seem like the pandemic is going anywhere in 2021. (Sorry.) This seems fair. Especially because new year resolutions promise absolute change, and as 2020 has taught us, not too much is under our control anyway. If your new resolution is to travel more, then 2021 might not be the best year for that, right?
Then, there are some resolutions which almost never work, however good our intentions might be. Susanna Schrobsdorff, an Editor at Large for TIME writes about “futile” new year resolutions for 2021, which includes a break-up with Netflix. (I fully endorse this one!) There’s also the evergreen “lose weight” resolution, which for some, often means starting the year with a hangover and a dose of self-hatred. Is there a way to make new resolutions that might actually improve our lives, and not make us feel guilty by the second week of January?
Yes! By making our goals “approach-oriented.” Let me explain. A year-long study of more than 1,000 people conducted by scientists at Stockholm University and Linköping University showed that some new year resolutions are better than others. A resolution where you try to adopt a new habit (five mins of meditation, journaling, that one phone call everyday…) will be easier than one which requires you to quit something. (Netflix, smoking, that toxic friend…) Basically, approach > avoidance.
The second trick is to make resolutions that work for you! Ask yourself: how will this new year resolution make me feel, where is it coming from and is it something I really want to do. Assess your weaknesses and strengths, and then make a resolution that you know will be holistic. For example, wanting to be fit is great! But what about your mental health? Maybe making a resolution where you help others is what will actually motivate you?
Finally, know that you are not alone if you fail. It’s okay. You don’t need a 1st January to become a better version of yourself, or to introduce a new habit. And trust me, you’re not a failure if by 15th January, you’ve abandoned your resolution. The thing about new year resolutions is that there’s always another year. Always another chance. Like Emily Dickinson says in a personal favourite poem about hope,
“Hope” is the thing with feathers - That perches in the soul - And sings the tune without the words - And never stops - at all -”
So whatever you do, don’t stop singing.
Have a happy, and safe new year!
Love, Maanvi Editorial Lead Vitamin Stree
What We’ve Been Loving aka Your Favourite Reccos 💜
1. Know My Name by Chanel Miller: "To girls everywhere, I am with you...So never stop fighting." Chanel Miller was like any other 23-year-old girl, until she was sexually assaulted on Stanford's campus in 2016. Brock Turner was sentenced to just six months in jail. Her identity still unknown to the world then, Miller wrote a victim impact statement, that broke down conventional reasonings behind rape like "too much alcohol" and revealed the extent of pain a trial puts the victim through. Shedding anonymity in the book "Know My Name," Chanel Miller writes a memoir that, after all the headlines, tells her story. In her words.
2. Soorarai Pottru on Amazon Prime Video: Sudha Kongara's Soorarai Pottru is a film based on the life of Simplifly Deccan founder GR Gopinath, but it's the women in this Suriya-starrer who will leave you awestruck. Bommi, played by Aparna Balamurali, is not your stereotypical love interest of the hero, but is an entrepreneur whose passion for — and dedication towards — her goals are on the par with the "hero." The film is about Maara, and his seemingly impossible dreams of starting an airline, but it's Bommi's unflinching support, and simultaneous demand for respect, that makes her one of the most powerful, and badass women seen on screen. Watch "Soorari Pottru," for the a story about dreams, and the women and men who have the courage to dream.
From Vitamin Stree This Week ✨
1.Why Imposter Syndrome Makes You Feel Like a Fraud Do you frequently doubt your work? Think your hard-earned success is luck by chance? Constantly feel like you’re a fraud? You’re just experiencing imposter syndrome, otherwise known as humse-na-ho-payega syndrome. And don't worry, you're not alone! Women tend to feel like a fraud when it comes to their achievements, constantly judging and blaming themselves for everything. So, how to deal with this feeling? How to bhagao the guest known as "imposter syndrome?" We break it down!
2. Streecomic! Two friends sit and discuss marriage.... Priya loves reading the newspaper, and Shruti loves asking questions! With the minimum age of marriage being proposed to increase, the strees are debating whether this makes sense, or if it's the galat solution to a problem? In partnership with Oxfam India, we're discussing the suggested change in policy on the minimum age of marriage for a girl.
3. To Bra or not to Bra? Life isn't perfect but your bra can be! Whether or not you wore bras this year, maybe it's time to better understand their secret? How do bras work? What does a perfect bra look like? Do women like wearing 'em? We tell you what you need to know!
4. Too Many Exclamation Marks in Your Email? "I think..." "Sorry, but..." Do you edit your emails to add these phrases? Or add an exclamation point to appear friendly, even though you feel far from chirpy? Don't worry you're not the only one. Writing emails IS tricky for women. You're either too bossy or too nice. So what can you do? We tell you!
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