my wonderful sycophants.

I am back in my cage and having a wonderful time of it.

Will I have a new book to announce before the end of the year?

Who knows???

I do, actually, and, no, I probably won’t.

Anyway, they said I wasn’t allowed to fuk around with this email. They said there was too much information to send out and I agreed heartily knowing I was about to regale you with tales of how me and Jan are in the market for a new crossbow and compound bow so we can spent the winter months running around the house, firing at each other having the time of our lives.

And then they explained that I will make more money if I take this email seriously, starting with bigging up just how incredible Raven Rock is going to be.

So ignoring all my credibility and integrity, let me officially begin this email with a quote from my idol Mister Krabs of the Krusty Krab.

“I like money.”

Right, let’s go get fuken paid…

Like really fuken close. And it is awesome. Don’t believe how awesome it is? Check out the words of my team who wrote this wonderful blurb to get you all excited about it.

In the hopes of tantalizing your wallets, let me add a few thoughts on the matter, because I really want to get paid.

Whilst writing the first draft of The Outcasts nearly a decade ago (when I hadn’t a clue what I was doing), I couldn’t help but imagine how much enjoyment it would have been writing the Siege of Raven Rock. It always stuck with me as something purposely unfinished. To have a look at when I’d finished all manner of book series (I’m looking at you, Dellerin).

I always envisioned an epic Gemmelesque siege with honour and nobility and baddass scenes of battle (and I absolutely have all that in it) but when it finally came to writing it, I feel I am a much better writer now, better suited to attempting what I envisioned. And, ooh, I am happy with what I’ve done.

I never thought I would have as much fun writing it as I did either. I had a fuken blast. When I’m having a blast, I write at my (genius) best.

It's probably down to Aurora being one of the main characters.

I fuken love that character.

We all kind of love that character.

I never know what twisted shit she is going to do at the best of times, and giving her a book of (mostly) her own and complete freedom…let’s just say she brought me to some wonderfully delicious twisted places.

As I mentioned before, it took me three years to get Actions of Gods over the line. That’s quite the investment of time. Especially with someone who used to believe they wrote quite swiftly.

After that time, I genuinely thought I could wash my hands of that savage, brutal, awesome world.

But I couldn’t.

And I don’t think any of you were able to either.

Never say I don’t understand you legends.

This is my gift to you guys.

A delicate goodbye from the Spark city cycle.

With a little twist.

Is this the end of the Spark City books?

I would most certainly say yes.

For now.

And with that in mind, in the next email, you can expect another little gift for all my fans on the mail list. An actual gift. Not just a “I wrote this for you guys cos I’m a deep writer fuk” type of gift.

An actual gift.

With value.

Not like my word at all.

And hey, very subtle suggestion, if you know anyone that you think would benefit from becoming a Spark Fan, introduce them to my emails real fuken quick.

REAL FUKEN QUICK!!!!!!

TRUST ME ON THIS ONE!!!!!!!!

SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!

Wow, with all this excitement for free gifts incoming, here’s something else that can make me money.

Or, you know, if you want to be a cheap bastard, you could just buy a sticker or two.

My guitars used to be adorned with all manner of cool nerdy shit.

You know, like Star Wars before it became shit. Now it is just covered in Spark logos. If I ever get back up on stage I’ll be a right walking advertisement and proud of it.

Side note. Why is Star wars so shit now???

I wish they’d just swallow their pride, pick up the phone, pay me a fuk load to write them a new trilogy. I would do such a good job.

Super side note. Did you guys know I totally have the raw blueprints of a sci fi epic I would love to write in space? Star wars meets game of thrones, meets Firefly meets Spark city.

Anyway, call me, Disney. I’ll cut you in on the deal. My only clause will be Robert Sheehan, Charlie Murphy and Henry Cavill are approached for the roles.

It’s a deal breaker, Disney. Soz.

Right, back to trying to pay for these new weapons to fire at my wife.

(It’s alright guys, I’ll be aiming for the apple on her head.)

We were going to hold off on announcing the merchandise for a few weeks more, but a few of you sneaky fuks have already started buying them since the sales page went live.

I suppose that’s to be expected with so many sycophants desperate to appease me.

As I look at the sales reports come in without the cost of advertising getting in the way, rest assured, you have pleased your Rob, sycophants, you have pleased him.

Admittedly, I was skeptical at first lest they come out all tacky and shit. Then they showed me the outlines, and I was in. I know I’m biased but I don’t give a shit. The company we worked with were absolutely brilliant and they brought my wild imaginings to life.

So, buy everything.

I want to buy a new car.

A real fuken expensive car.

And make loads of Instagram posts about it.

Cos that’s the type of sellout I am.

Seriously though, we know I just want enough money to buy a moat for around my house and a few extra arrows for my bow.

If I get them, then no fuken sheep are getting in to steal my pop tarts.

And isn’t that what’s it all about?

So now, onto questions for Rob.

Today’s question….wait….oh my god….

For fuk sake.

Bastards.

Hilarious bastards.

So I think you guys know, that I get an email with shit I’m supposed to talk about. Frequently, it’s just book propaganda that I ignore but today, they’ve added a “question” from one of my “fans.”

Strange, that I don’t remember getting this email.

It goes like this.

“Dear Mister Power this new book sounds very impressive. But as a reader, I worry at which point can Raven Rock be read? Is this new product a sequel or a prequel? I am a fan.”

It’s actually signed from Dave!!!!!!!!

They actually signed it from Dave!!!!!

Bravo you money grabbing curs. You have me on this one.

In answer to “Dave,” you can read it any time you want.

As long as you read it.

It can be read before Spark City, or after March of Magnus. Perhaps even at the same time as The Outcasts. Many of you will read it having read Actions of Gods, and truly, you will be rewarded. There will be things you will not notice on first read through. There will be things that will reward the reader who knows all four Spark Books inside out.

And who knows.

Maybe there could be a sequel. Or a prequel.

Spark City is a big world and as I said you crazy fuks can’t get enough.

And apparently, neither can I.

Did that answer your fuken question, Dave?

Will this new product push sales???

Right, I think I’ve done enough bigging up on me.

Anyway, send me more questions.

I do love ignoring them.

Seriously though, I love going through them.

And ignoring them.

Let us know if you wish to be named or kept anonymous as “Dave.”

There were an abundance of wonderful mails in this month. Including one which floored me, but that is between me and a legend of a fan. There have been a few which have resonated and prompted me to actually reply. (You wonderful fiends know who you are.)

But I digress.

Send me a message. Tell me I’m great. Tell me what you are reading. (I’m on the look out for some crackers to get me through the winter months.)

Or you know, shoot for the stars and try to be the next legend to floor me with awesome words.

I’m actually working through a process of trying to improve my replies.

Problem is my cage is fairly compact at the moment and I rarely climb out.

But I am trying.

Holy shit this email has dragged. It will all be worth it with free gift next month.

Until then,

Take care of yourselves, and each other.

The Rob